


Born to Shine

by BigG1999



Series: It's that heart of gold and stardust soul that make you beautiful ~ R. M. Broderick [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abby Griffin is good, Anya Lives (The 100), Arranged Marriage, Artist Clarke Griffin, Body Dysphoria, Car Accidents, Clarke Griffin & John Murphy Friendship, Clarke Griffin Takes Care of Lexa, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cunnilingus, Cute Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Domestic Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Domestic Fluff, Dresses, Dysphoria, Established Anya/Raven Reyes, Established Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Established Octavia Blake/Lincoln, F/F, Finger Sucking, Fingerfucking, First Time, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Happy Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Lesbian Sex, Lincoln Lives, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Married Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Married Life, Massage, Mild Smut, Minor Anya/Raven Reyes, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Movie Night, Name Changes, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Planned Parenthood, Racism, Racist Language, Same-Sex Marriage, Sassy Raven Reyes, Sex Talk, Sexual Tension, Sharing a Bed, Shopping, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trans Lexa (The 100), Transgender, Transgender Lexa, Transitioning, Tribbing, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Vaginal Fingering, Wedding Fluff, Weddings, butt massage, doctor visit, shots, trans!Lexa, voice training, working out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22522282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigG1999/pseuds/BigG1999
Summary: Part 3 of series."You are a symphony of stardust and you were born to shine" ~ Tyler Kent WhiteLexa has come to terms with herself, her wife is supportive, and they are ready to take on the world.(Trans!Lexa going through transition with her loving wife at her side) (NOT G!P)
Relationships: Abby Griffin/Marcus Kane, Anya/Raven Reyes, Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: It's that heart of gold and stardust soul that make you beautiful ~ R. M. Broderick [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1561378
Comments: 232
Kudos: 408





	1. Chapter 1

“Come on Murphy, I know you need people,” Clarke says through the small window to the kitchen.

“You walked out on me Clarke, why in the world would I let you come back?” He questions, not bothering to look up from the cooktop.

“I got married to someone rich. If you got rich, you wouldn’t be in this dump either-”

“Hey! I own this dump!” He complains, glaring at the blonde.

“And you’re in the back cooking eggs,” she deadpans.

Murphy grunts, plating the dish he’d been working on, setting it in the window and ringing the bell to notify the waiter before wiping off his hands and coming out of the kitchen.

“You’re not going to run off again, are you?” He questions as he heads to his desk.

“No. We need jobs like yesterday,” Clarke confesses.

“We?” Murphy questions, digging under the counter for a paper.

“My spouse and me, yeah.”

His eyebrows raise, “You’re still married?”

“Yes,” Clarke rolls her eyes, “Any more personal questions that have nothing to do with my job?”

“Woah man,” Murphy raises his hands in mock surrender as he nods to the new employee form, “I thought we were friends.”

Clarke chuckles, rolling her eyes as she fills out the paper. 

“If your guy needs a job too, we could use a cook. No pressure though,” Murphy suggests.

“Thank you. I think they’ve got one lined up though, but maybe part-time?” 

“I’ll take all the help I can, Griff. Can you start tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, no problem.”

“Come in for opening, we’ll figure out the rest of your schedule before you leave tomorrow, I gotta head back.”

“Thank you Murph,” Clarke grins to herself as she exits the diner, ready for the next chapter of their lives.

* * *

“Lic…” Lexa whispers, attempting to find the words.

“I’ve got a trainer spot open, if you want it,” Lincoln says without looking up from the paperwork on his desk.

“Really?” Lexa questions, surprised.

“Yeah, here’s the paper, just sign here,” he says, pushing the paper towards the brunette.

“Just like that? I’ve never had a real job before or-”

“Shut up and take the job,” he laughs, earning a red blush.

“Okay,” she nods, sitting down and filling out the paper.

“Now, for the hard question. Are you coming out, or are you still… Not?”

Lexa sighs, “Not for now.”

Lincoln nods, “I understand.”

“I still need to like, figure some stuff out. Like, what’s the point of coming out if I’m not going to do anything? Really?” Lexa mumbles, focusing on the paper.

“To be more comfortable in yourself. Not everybody transitions Lex.”

“No, I know that,” Lexa explains, “I just… I don’t know. I don’t want to be  _ that  _ trans person. The one who comes out but never does anything about it. I mean, it’s fine if other people do that and are okay, but I just… I don’t think I could have everybody call me the right name while I don’t look like me. Not yet, at least.”

“Whatever you want Lexa is what we’ll do.” 

“Thank you.”

“Can you start tomorrow? Got a class at six am, and I’d rather not do it myself.”

“Sounds perfect.”

* * *

“How did it go?” Lexa questions as the blonde enters their small two-room apartment, located above Abby’s garage, stirring a pot of spaghetti noodles.

“Perfect. He even offered you a job, if you want it,” Clarke smiles as she takes a seat at the bar.

“I got one with Lincoln, a part-time trainer,” Lexa explains.

“You could do both, Murphy needs a cook, mostly for later in the day.”

“Do you think I could do it?” Lexa questions, draining the pasta.

“You’re a good cook babe, I’m sure you could whip up some eggs and burgers.”

Lexa laughs, dumping a can of marinara sauce into the pot before adding the spaghetti back.

“Pasta doesn’t mean I know how to cook, Clarke.”

Clarke shrugs, grinning at the blush she caused, “Better than me.”

“That’s not hard, love,” Lexa jokes, leaning over the counter and stealing a kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

“Here, fill this out,” Clarke says, handing Lexa a paper as she enters the apartment.

“What is it?” Lexa questions, looking at the paper.

“We gotta fill it out for medical,” Clarke explains, plopping down on the couch.

“Medical? Why? Are you sick?” Lexa questions, following the blonde into the small living room.

“No, but we need medical. How else would we pay for your transition?” 

Lexa freezes, eyes wide as she looks at her wife.

“That is something you still want to do, right?” Clarke questions, tilting her head.

“I mean, yeah. But I’m not even out or anything,” Lexa mumbles, scratching the back of her neck.

“Come here,” Clarke orders, making grabby hands at the other woman.

Lexa can’t stop her smile as she takes a seat next to the blonde. Clarke shifts, placing one leg behind the brunette and pulling her against her chest. Lexa grins at the close contact as she falls into place. Clarke gently runs her fingers through Lexa’s hair, playing with the curls on top of her head. 

“You don’t have to come out to transition, baby,” Clarke whispers after some time, scratching Lexa’s scalp.

“I can’t really just show up with tits one day with no explanation.”

“Why not?” Clarke shrugs, “Who gives a fuck what anybody thinks, just as long as you’re happy.”

Green eyes connect with blue, “You think so?”

Clarke smiles sadly at the woman in her arms, leaning down and stealing a gentle kiss. 

“Fuck the world, baby.”

Lexa grins, shifting to be fully on top of the blonde and reconnecting their lips. Clarke hums into the kiss, enjoying the soft lips against hers. 

Clarke licks Lexa’s bottom lip, asking for permission. Lexa grants it, enjoying the taste of Clarke’s tongue in her mouth, following Clarke’s tongue into her mouth. Clarke moans when Lexa’s hand caresses the side of her face. 

They lose themselves in the heat of the moment, forgetting the world around them. 

“Woah,” Abby says as the enters the apartment, her hand covering her eyes.

Clarke can feel Lexa tense above her as she rips away, but Clarke merely rolls her eyes at her mother.

“We were just kissing Mom, you don’t have to cover your eyes like we’re naked,” Clarke states, sitting up and grabbing Lexa’s hand in hers, preventing her from leaving the room.

Lexa squeezes the hand in hers gratefully as Abby heads to the kitchen, placing a large paper bag on the counter.

“I picked up a few things to get you through the week until you get your paychecks,” she says as she starts putting everything away.

“We could just pick up stuff from the diner Mom. You don’t have to take care of us,” Clarke protests, heading to the kitchen herself to help put things away.

“Have you got your medical paperwork filled out yet?” Abby questions, ignoring the blonde’s comment.

“We were just doing that,” Lexa answers, picking the paper back up from the coffee table.

“Good. The sooner you get coverage, the sooner you can get into therapy,” Abby says.

“Therapy?” Lexa questions.

“Yes. Coming from an abusive household you really need to go to therapy to make sure you won’t bring any baggage into your marriage with my daughter.”

“Mom!” Clarke scolds, “That’s so-”

“It’s fine Clarke,” Lexa cuts her off, “I should get into therapy anyways.”

“Still, it’s not okay to tell someone they need therapy, Mother,” Clarke scolds.

Abby shrugs, “I believe everybody should go to therapy. Those who take offense to that even more than those who don’t.”

Clarke just rolls her eyes.

* * *

“It finally came!” Clarke grins as the enters the diner, heading straight to the kitchen window.

“What came, babe?” Lexa questions, looking through the small window.

“Our medical cards. I’m going to set up an appointment for me tonight. Want to set up some for you too?” Clarke grins.

Lexa can’t stop her smile as she watches her wife beaming at her from the small window, having to look away and focus on the hamburger she’s cooking.

“We can talk more when we get home baby,” she answers, grinning wider as Clarke enters the back room, having washed her hands and put on her uniform.

“Okay baby,” Clarke says, leaning in and stealing a kiss.

“I’m not paying you to suck face, Griffin. We got two waiting at the door,” Murphy yells from the counter.

“I’m not a host, I’m a waitress!” Clarke defends, earning a chuckle from Lexa before stealing another kiss.

“Griffin!”

“Gotta go,” Clarke laughs, stealing another kiss before heading back to the front room, ready for her four-hour shift.

* * *

“So I did some research,” Clarke admits softly.

“On?” Lexa questions, confused by the softness of Clarke’s voice.

“Transiting, medically, for you.”

“Oh.”

“The easiest place to go for hormones is Planned Parenthood. We can call and set up an appointment tonight if you want,” Clarke suggests.

“What… What does that look like? I haven’t been to a doctor since I was like, fifteen,” Lexa admits.

“Well, we can look it up right now. Basically, I think you meet with a therapist or somebody like that to see if you’re sane, and then they might do a few tests, then you get a prescription. It sounded pretty easy.”

Lexa nods, “I mean, should I start something like that if I’m not out?” she wonders.

“I mean, do you want to start hormon-”

“Yes.”

Clarke chuckles, stealing a kiss just because she can. 

“Sorry,” Lexa apologizes, blush coating her cheeks.

“Fuck the world baby. All that matters is your happiness,” Clarke says.

“And yours,” Lexa whispers, stealing a kiss of her own.

“But,” Lexa says, pulling away, “I think I’m ready to come out.”

“Really? To who?”

“Your friends. And your mother. I think they’ll support me,” Lexa admits, looking down as she thinks of their possible reactions.

“Hey,” Clarke whispers, tilting her head up so green eyes meet blue, “They’ll love you for being you.”

Lexa grins, leaning in for another kiss.

“I love you,” she admits, stopping a hair away from pink lips.

“I love you, Lexa,” Clarke whispers back before surging forward and connecting their lips.


	3. Chapter 3

“Are you serious?” Lexa whines, refusing to break her hold on the blonde’s hips.

“Diane didn’t come in, I gotta,” Clarke grins, pulling Lexa into a hug, “You’ll be fine, they love you.”

“But-”

“They’ll love you just the same, baby. If any give you a hard time I’ll beat them up, okay?” 

Lexa chuckles, pulling away from the hug to look into sparkling blue eyes.

“You’d beat up your mom for me?”

“I’d beat her up just because, if I could,” Clarke jokes, laughing herself when Lexa snorts.

“You’re terrible,” she laughs.

Clarke grins, watching the woman before her. Lexa realizes she’s being watched and she pushes her hair back, slightly longer than ever before.

“What?” she questions, ignoring the way she can feel her face heat up.

“You’re so pretty,” Clarke states, leaving no room for argument.

Lexa freezes, breath caught in her throat as the words wash over her. Her wife, a crazy statement it itself, that fact she has a wife, but her wife, the beautiful cis woman she is, is looking at her and saying she’s pretty. It’s better than any dream she’s ever had, warmth fills her from the inside out, starting in her belly and going up to her chest. 

“I love you,” Lexa states before crashing her lips into the blondes. 

Clarke smiles so big it forces her to break the kiss. Pulling away slightly, Lexa chases her lips, emotions spilling into the kiss. Clarke’s hands come up, gently stroking Lexa’s cheeks as she returns the kiss. She sighs as she pulls away, her hands preventing Lexa from chasing her lips. 

“I’ve got to go,” she states sadly, looking at the time on her phone.

Lexa sighs, her bottom lip jutting out as she pouts. 

“God, your lips are fucking perfect. An artist’s dream,” Clarke mumbles, her thumb running across them. 

A knock on the door interrupts their moment before the door is thrown open, Raven walking in with four two litters of soda in her arms.

“Thanks for waiting for an answer,” Clarke rolls her eyes as she turns towards the door, her hands leaving their spot on Lexa’s face.

“It was a warning, not a question,” Raven states, placing the soda on the bar as Octavia comes in through the open door, three pizza’s in her hands.

“God that smells amazing,” Clarke says, smiling at her friends in greeting.

“Only the best,” Octavia says, sitting the pizza next to the soda.

“Not to ruin the party before it starts, but I’ve got to run,” Clarke informs the girls, earning whines of protest before turning to Lexa, “I’ll see you later,” she says, stealing a kiss before leaving, telling her mom hello on her way out the door.

“So pizza night with Clarke’s hubby and Ma?” Raven jokes, easily finding her way to the TV.

“I’ve been to a few of these movie nights before Raven. I’m almost a regular,” Abby defends, sitting in the chair with a small smirk of amusement.

“I meant no offense Mama G,” Raven defends herself as she sets up the movie.

“Yeah, you’re like the fourth member of our group already,” Octavia states, setting the pizza on the coffee table and grabbing a slice for herself. 

“So I guess that makes Axel the new blood?” Abby questions with her smirk still in place as she looks at Lexa.

“Yeah, yeah. Speeches after the movie, I wanna see this,” Raven waves her hand dismissively, pressing play before finding her seat next to Octavia, easily sharing the small blanket.

* * *

“So, now that the movie is over,” Lexa says quietly to herself in the mirror, having accused herself to practice in the bathroom before the movie ended. 

She shakes her head at herself, nerves filling her stomach. She pulls out her phone, ready to text Clarke and tell her she’s chickened out but finds a text from the girl waiting for her.

_ I love you, Lexa. You’re strong enough for this, I promise. _

She bites her bottom lip and returns to the living room. She’s surprised the movie is over, Raven and Octavia are cuddled together, looking at something on Raven’s phone as Abby moves around the girls, cleaning up the small mess they’ve created thought the night. 

Lexa closes her eyes, returning to the headspace that saved her for years.  _ Show no weakness. Show no fear. You are strong. Show no weakness. No fear.  _ She can feel the mask fall into place, and then she knows she’s ready to face them. 

“I have a confession to make to all of you,” she states, bringing all of their attention to the brunette. 

“You’re gay! I called it,” Raven exclaims, causing Lexa’s mask to crack a bit, a small smirk appearing before she can stop it.

“I’m very much in love with my wife,” Lexa says, earning a sigh of defeat from the brunette.

“I uh… I’m usually super good with words, but I don’t really have the words to say this. I don’t feel like a guy. I feel like-”

“You’re trans?! That makes so much fucking sense! Why the hell didn’t I think of that?” Raven interrupts, slapping her forehead.

Octavia chuckles at the brunette, “You owe me money.”

“Transgender? Like, you feel like a woman?” Abby questions, ignoring the two girls as she looks at her daughter’s spouse.

Lexa swallows, settling her shoulders as she looks Abby directly in the eyes.

“I don’t feel like a woman, I am a woman. My name is Lexa.”

Abby’s eyebrows raise as she takes in the person before her. Dark brown eyes never leave green as she searches for answers. 

Lexa can’t breathe as Abby seems to look into her soul for answers to questions she's not even asking. She clenches her jaw as she awaits judgment from the woman who owns the roof over her head. 

“I think you’ll love beautiful with long hair, Lexa.”

Lexa’s mask breaks. She crumbles, tears streaming down her face and sobs coming instead of breaths. 

Abby catches her. She cradles the broken woman like one would a baby. She pulls her close and lets her ruin her shirt, one hand runs through her hair, one rubs her back. 

Then there are more hands. Raven and Octavia are there too, rubbing her back and talking to her. They’re all talking to her, yet keeping the conversation going amongst themselves. Slowly, Lexa is able to pull herself back together, the sobs and tears coming to an end.

“I’m sorry,” she says, pulling away from Abby.

“No apologies Lexa. We all understand,” Octavia says, her hand squeezing Lexa’s shoulder.

“Coming out is a scary thing,” Raven nods.

“We’re all here for you honey, just as I’m sure Clarke is,” Abby says, wiping away the last tear from Lexa’s face.

“I just… I didn’t expect this,” Lexa confesses, water filling her eyes again.

The door opens, bringing all their attention to the blonde coming home. Blue eyes widen at the sight before her, her two best friends and her mother standing around her wife, who has been crying.

“What’s going on?” she questions, unsure if Lexa’s come out yet or not.

“We’re just telling your wife we accept her,” Abby states, giving Lexa’s cheek one last caress before pulling away.

“I can’t believe I never guessed trans. I’m an idiot,” Raven says, shaking her head at herself.

“Yes, you are,” Octavia agrees, laughing as she’s pushed away.

* * *

“You can say it,” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s shoulder later that night as they lie in bed.

“Say what?” Clarke questions, feigning ignorance. 

“Klark.”

“I don’t need to say it,” Clarke grins, “I’m just happy for you.”

Lexa presses a kiss into Clarke’s shoulder.

“But I told you so.”

Clarke’s laugh fills the room as Lexa playfully bites her. 


	4. Chapter 4

“This is crazy,” Lexa whispers to herself as she looks at the forms in her hands.

“Finally feeling real?” Clarke questions gently as she puts the car in park.

“We’re really here, ready to change my name,” Lexa states, looking at the papers once again.

“We are,” Clarke grins as she looks at the old building.

“Well, we’re filing for it,” Lexa takes a deep breath.

“We are. That’s step one.”

“Baby steps,” Lexa whispers to herself before getting out. 

Lexa grins as Clarke grabs her hand, tangling their fingers together. 

“You should’ve worn your thicker coat,” Lexa chides as Clarke cuddles into her side as the wind blows.

“Okay Mom,” Clarke jokes, earning a laugh as they enter the building.

“Where are you going today?” A man sitting behind a desk questions as they enter.

“County Clerk,” Lexa answers easily.

“Just remove any and all metal, then step through the detector,” he states, pointing towards the metal detector. 

Lexa swallows, taking off her Rolex as Clarke takes out her phone, quickly getting through the small area without a problem, sending their boxes through the X-ray scanner.

“Take the elevator to the third floor, then follow the signs,” the man states as they exit the scanner.

“Thank you,” Clarke offers a friendly smile as she takes Lexa’s hand again, heading towards the elevator.

Lexa takes a deep breath as the doors close.

“Are you okay?” Clarke questions, running her thumb across the back of Lexa’s hand.

“Just worried I guess,” Lexa admits as the doors open.

“Come on baby, it’ll be all good,” Clarke whispers as they exit the elevator, following the signs to the clerk’s office.

They pass through a series of hallways before coming to a set of double doors, both propped open with a sign above them reading _County Clerk’s Office._

“Well, I think we found it,” Clarke jokes as they enter the large room. 

Lexa’s eyes scan the room quickly, taking in the half library side, shelves full of large books, mostly law-related, a few desks with computers sit on one side, and a large counter cuts the room into fourths, desks and people working behind it.

“Hi! What can I help you with today?” An older woman questions the couple.

“Hello. We were hoping to file for a name change,” Clarke easily answers, leading Lexa towards the woman.

“Alright, there are a few forms that need to be filled out beforehand,” she states, turning around.

“I got some here already,” Lexa finds her voice, putting the small stack of papers on the desk.

“Oh, wonderful. We do offer some filing online now, just started this month, but since you have the papers done already, I’ll just put these in for you,” she smiles, looking down at the papers.

“Awesome,” Clarke grins back, squeezing Lexa’s hand.

“Alright, so we’re just going to set up your court date. It’ll be your chosen name vs your legal name. Basically you have to sue yourself for the right to change your name. Your court date will be just going over why you want to change it. Make sure you’re not hiding from anybody or trying to get out of owing money or anything. You’ll have to publish an ad in the paper for one full month before your date, in case anybody wants to protest. They’re super nice about this kind of stuff, just have them fill out this paper and then show up to your date. It’s in a month and two weeks, on the 14th at 11:30.”

“That’s it?” Lexa questions.

“Just have a filing fee of $331. That excludes the price of the court date and everything.”

Clarke’s jaw drops at the price as Lexa nods, handing over the money.

“Alright, I’ll print the receipt and get you on your way,” the woman states, turning around and heading to a room in the back.

“Three hundred dollars? That’s your whole check Lexa!” Clarke states.

Lexa blushes, looking around at the other people working, “Yeah. That’s how much it costs.”

“That’s outrageous. That’s a full week of work,” Clarke mumbles, continuing on about how the government is crazy.

“It is what it is, my love,” Lexa soothes, bringing the back of Clarke’s hand to her lips, pressing a small kiss there.

Clarke sighs, looking at her wife.

“How are you so perfect,” she questions, anger melting away.

“I’m not,” Lexa answers simply as the woman comes back.

* * *

“Today’s the day,” Lexa states to herself, taking in her reflection. 

“You can borrow something of mine if you want, baby,” Clarke offers as Lexa buttons up her dress shirt, borrowed from Lincoln.

“I don’t think anything of your would fit me, Klark,” Lexa dismisses as she puts on her Rolex.

“Will you please try on this shirt? It’s basically the same thing you already have on,” Clarke questions as Lexa turns towards her, mouth open to argue.

Lexa’s mouth closes as she takes in the item in Clarke’s hands. It’s a simple black button-up shirt, almost exactly like the one she’s wearing, just a tad shorter and the buttons on the other side.

“Nobody will know but me and you,” Clarke coxes.

Lexa takes the offered item, “I guess it does look a lot alike.”

“It’s softer too,” Clarke whispers, watching as Lexa hangs the shirt at arm's length. 

“It’s up to you baby, I just wanted to offer. I’ll finish getting ready,” Clarke says, heading to the bathroom to give Lexa privacy.

* * *

Lexa sighs as she looks around the courtroom, her thumb running up and down the soft fabric of her borrowed shirt. The courtroom is much smaller than those she’s used to, her butt hurts from the pews, and her heart is racing at the dark eyes of the judge.

She smiles as she watches the people before her. An older man finally changing his name legally, even though it’s already correct on his driver’s license, just not on his birth certificate, so he can finally marry the girl of his dreams. A small girl with down syndrome bursts into tears when her adoptive parents explain to her that now she has their last name. 

“Lexa Griffin VS Axel Woods,” the judge questions as the group heads to the exit.

Lexa takes a deep breath as she heads up to the bench.

“You want to be called Lexa, correct?” the judge questions, dark eyes meeting green.

“Correct,” Lexa nods.

“You haven’t been convicted of any felonies in the past five years?”

“None, ever.”

“You’re not in a large amount of debt and attempting to run from them?”

“No debt.”

“Then I see no reason to deny your name change. Granted. You have ten days to get to the DMV and change your driver’s license.”

“Thank you, your honor,” Lexa states, unable to hold back her smile as she takes the paper.

* * *

“Should we throw a party for you?” Clarke questions later that night, both in pajamas and laying in bed.

"For what?” Lexa questions.

“Your name.”

Lexa chuckles, “Not now. Maybe someday.”

“I had something else I wanted to talk about too,” Clarke confesses as she crawls into bed.

“I’m not in trouble, am I?” Lexa jokes, earning a small grin.

“You know you’re not,” Clarke rolls her eyes, stealing a small kiss.

“Then shoot.”

Clarke sighs, biting her bottom lip as she looks into green eyes. 

“Promise you’ll be honest?”

“Always baby.”

“We’ve been on our own for a few months now, and I don’t want to push you into something you don’t want to do, but we haven’t talked about it at all. We share a bed and kiss a lot and sometimes things get steamy but it always stops before we go any further. I just, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable Lexa.”

“You want sex,” Lexa states.

Clarke shakes her head, grabbing Lexa’s hand, “I want to know if sex is an option. If it’s not, that’s okay. I just need to know.”

Lexa takes a deep breath, eyes closing before letting out a deep sigh and looking back at Clarke.

“I’ll have sex if you want to have sex,” she states.

Clarke shakes her head, “I don’t want to have sex unless you want to have sex.”

Lexa sighs again, bringing the back of Clarke’s hand to her lips. 

“I would love to have sex with you Klark. I’d love to worship your body the way you deserve. You’re so incredibly sexy all the time baby. I just… When I get excited my body reacts and I don’t enjoy that. But if you want to I can-”

“I only want to do stuff you enjoy too,” Clarke cuts her off.

“It’s okay baby, I used to do stuff all the time for-”

“Not for me. Sex is something both parties should enjoy completely, and if you can’t enjoy it then neither can I.”

“I’m not going to make you be celibate to be with me,” Lexa says.

“You’re not making me do anything.”

Lexa grins, pulling Clarke into a kiss. 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay enough to have sex Clarke,” Lexa confesses against her lips

“Good thing I love you more than sex,” Clarke mumbles, pulling away and pushing a strand of Lexa’s growing hair behind her ear.

“You are worth so much baby. I’d give up coffee for you.”

Lexa’s eyebrows raise, “Coffee?”

Clarke smirks, “Maybe.”

Lexa laughs, pulling Clarke into another kiss. 

“I’d give up coffee for you,” Lexa whispers.

“You don’t even drink coffee!” Clarke laughs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Alexander makes very racist comments! RACISM!!

“Did I tell you about Anya?” Lexa questions, her hand running through blonde curls.

“What about her?” Clarke questions, humming contently as Lexa scratches her scalp.

“She’s quitting her job.”

“I think Rae might’ve mentioned something about her getting a new one, now that I think about it,” Clarke states.

“She’s worked for my dad for sixteen years.”

“Sixteen?” Clarke exclaims in disbelief, “How old is she anyway? I mean, I know she’s older than us, but how old is she?”

“She’s thirty-six. She started working for my father when she was eighteen,” Lexa says with a chuckle.

“Your father hired an eighteen-year-old?” Clarke questions with a raised eyebrow.

Lexa chuckles before answering, “Anya’s super smart and good at her job. He put her through classes and everything. I think it was mostly because my mom knew I loved Lincoln and didn’t want him to go away.”

“Go away? Why does Anya have anything to do with Lincoln going away?” 

Lexa sighs, “I don’t think this is really my story to tell, but I guess you are my wife and should know about the people in my life.”

Clarke tilts her head to the side in confusion.

“When we were twelve Lincoln’s parents got into a car accident. A man with dementia was driving on the wrong side of the highway and hit them head-on.”

“Oh no.”

“Lincoln’s only other relative is Anya, who was eighteen at the time. She stepped up pretty quickly, moved in and applied everywhere. She was getting ready to sell the house and for them to move away. I cried about it to my mom and suddenly Anya had an interview for a position with Woods Inc. Father invited her over for dinner one night and we just kinda clicked,” Lexa explains.

“I would’ve never guessed she raised Lincoln,” Clarke says.

“She didn’t. At most, she was like an older sister. I mean, Linc and I were good kids. We didn’t really need anybody else. I think we helped her as much as she helped us.”

“What do you mean?”

Lexa shrugs, “Anya lost her parents too, so she spent a few years in the foster system. A few months in juvie too. I like to think Lincoln kinda gave her a reason to not go down that path.”

“My respect for her just increased tenfold… Even though I still don’t think she likes me.”

“She doesn’t like most people,” Lexa explains.

Clarke laughs.

“Besides,” Lexa continues, “I like you, so what does it matter what she thinks?”

Clarke grins, kissing Lexa, “That was corny as fuck.”

Lexa grins back, “But it got me a kiss.”

* * *

“Anya.”

Anya can feel her blood run cold at the single word. The husk of his voice sends chills down her spine. She takes a deep breath, calming her inner anger at the man as she looks up. His green eyes are the same shade as Lexa’s, but there’s a coldness to them that makes her uncomfortable.

“Sir,” she nods towards him respectfully.

“I heard you put in your two weeks’ notice,” he states, staring her down.

“I did,” Anya confirms.

“Does it have something to do with my sorry excuse of a son?” he spits. 

Anya takes a deep breath, remembering the training she’s had, attempting to calm the anger rising inside of her.

“I know you had a soft spot for him, probably because of his love for that little nigger of yours.”

Anya’s eyes snap open, her jaw-dropping. 

“If you used some of that medical money we give you, you could change your eyes. Get rid of those squints you’ve got now and be how all people sound be. White.”

Anya moves before she even realizes it, suddenly standing in his personal space and glaring into his eyes.

“You are fucking lucky I don’t knock out your teeth right now, you racist piece of shit. Your so-called son is better off without you, and so am I.” 

Anya turns, walking out of the building without a glance back.

* * *

“How does this sound?” Lexa asks her wife who is currently draped across her lap.

“You sound like you’re doing a voice,” Clarke answers honestly. 

“I am doing a voice,” Lexa deadpans, clenching her jaw.

Clarke sighs, sitting up and facing her wife. Lexa raises an eyebrow as she watches Clarke move to be opposite her on the bed, both sitting criss-cross. 

“Here, put your hand on my chest,” Clarke takes Lexa’s hand, placing it dead on her chest.

“This is my chest voice,” Clarke states, her voice lower than normal, “Can you feel it against your hand?”

Lexa nods, feeling the vibrations against her hand.

“Now, I imagine my voice is a balloon. It slowly raises up to my throat,” Clarke says, her pitch rising as she pushes Lexa’s hand up.

“Now it’s my head voice, it comes mostly from my throat, as you can feel,” Clarke explains as Lexa’s hand rests on her throat. 

“Now you try baby,” Clarke encourages, moving Lexa’s hand to her own chest. 

“I don’t know,” Lexa mumbles, scratching the back of her neck.

“I won’t force you to do anything Lexa, but training makes it easier. If you’d rather be alone, I can leave for a while.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Lexa confesses with a sigh.

Clarke grins, pouncing forward and causing Lexa to fall backward with a laugh as she peppers kisses on the side of her face.

“I fucking love you,” Clarke grins.

Lexa takes Clarke’s hand in hers and brings it to her chest. 

“I,” Lexa starts, allowing Clarke to feel the vibrations from her chest, “love,” she says, making Clarke’s hand trail up her chest, “you,” she states as Clarke’s hand rests on her throat.

“Say that again,” Clarke orders.

Clarke can’t contain her smile as Lexa repeats herself, the vibration coming only from her throat. 

* * *

“Baby? Are you home?” Clarke calls into the apartment.

“Yeah? What’s up?” Lexa questions as she comes out of the bedroom.

Clarke grins as she walks to her wife. Lexa welcomes her into a hug with a raised eyebrow but allows the blonde to sink into her arms. 

“Are you okay?” Lexa questions as she gently caresses Clarke’s back.

“I am,” Clarke nods before looking up at her wife.

“What?” Lexa questions, blush coating her face at the intense stare Clarke is giving her.

Clarke hums, one hand coming to Lexa’s collarbone.

“Talk to me,” Clarke orders.

“I am talking to you Klark,” Lexa rolls her eyes.

Clarke grins, stealing a kiss before saying “You sound like you.”

Lexa’s eyes fill with tears instantly. She’s been practicing every day for the past month, Clarke helping sometimes. Clarke says she sounds good, but it’s hard to get rid of the feeling her voice is too low to sound like a cis female’s. 

“I didn’t mean to make you cry baby,” Clarke coos, her hands cupping Lexa’s face and wiping away the tears.

Lexa sniffles, “Good tears.”

“Come on, let’s go to bed baby,” Clarke suggests, taking Lexa’s hand in hers, leading her to their bedroom.

“It’s only six o’clock Clarke,” Lexa protests, but allows herself to be lead.

“Time isn’t real.”

* * *

“You’ve got me blocked in babe,” Raven says as she reenters their apartment. 

“Just take mine, keys are on the hook,” Anya yells back from the bedroom, refusing to move from her spot in bed.

“Are you sure baby?” Raven questions as she enters the bedroom, smirking as she takes in Anya’s form, nude except for a pair of panties.

“Just don’t die and we’ll be good,” Anya grumbles.

Raven laughs, easily stealing a kiss from Anya before answering, “No dying, okay.”

Anya grunts in response, grabbing a pillow and burying her head in it.

“I’ll see you after work baby,” Raven states, her hand trailing down the middle of Anya’s back in parting.

Anya shivers, cracking one eye open to watch Raven walk out the door. 

“I love you,” she whispers to the empty room.

* * *

“Clarke, your phone is ringing,” Lexa says as the phone goes off for the second time.

“Ignore it,” Clarke mumbles into her chest, sleep still filling her voice.

“They keep calling,” Lexa says, reaching over the blonde to grab the device from the nightstand.

“Turn it off, I just wanna cuddle,” Clarke whines.

Lexa watches as the call ends, almost immediately followed by it ringing again.

“It’s Octavia,” Lexa states, handing the phone to Clarke.

Clarke groans as she answers it, “What the hell do you want?”

Lexa can feel Clarke’s whole body tense as she listens to the phone. Lexa’s brows furrow as Clarke sits up, now wide awake.

“What hospital?” Clarke questions, causing Lexa’s blood to run cold as she watches Clarke haphazardly pull out clothes to get redressed.

“I’ll be there. Have you called Anya yet?” Clarke questions as she pulls on jeans over her night shorts. 

Lexa’s head tilts at the mention of her friend, her mind working overtime to try to put things together.

“Okay, I’ll call her and be there ASAP,” Clarke says, hanging up the phone.

“What happened?” Lexa questions, getting up.

“Raven got into a car accident. She’s at the hospital. We need to call Anya and let her know.”

* * *

Anya tilts her head in confusion as someone pounds on her door. She looks out the peephole, confused even more at the sight of Lexa.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Anya questions as she opens the door, brows furrowed.

“Raven’s been in an accident, we’re going to the hospital,” Lexa states, grabbing Anya’s forearm and pulling her along.

“Accident? What happened?” Anya questions, rushing down the hallways, eager to get to Raven.

“Car accident. She’s in surgery right now. Don’t know anything else but that,” Lexa explains as they rush down the stairs.

* * *

“Why is she still out there?” Clarke questions as she sits down in the waiting room.

“Anya doesn’t do hospitals,” Lexa explains, sitting down next to the blonde.

“Clarke!”

Clarke turns, finding both Octavia and her mother standing there.

“How is she?” Clarke questions, rushing to them.

“She’s doing good, I just came from the observation deck. Right now they’re trying to save her leg, but she’s going to live.”

Clarke lets out a deep breath, “Thank god.”

“I’ll go tell Anya,” Lexa mumbles, heading to the closest exit.

* * *

Anya sighs, pacing outside the hospital. Her heart races and she curses her stupid feelings. Hospitals have always been her biggest weakness. 

“It’s Raven. My Raven,” she hypes herself up, then shakes her head, pacing again.

“Anya!” a deep voice pulls her from her mind and instantly calms her as she looks up and her eyes find his.

“Oh thank god you’re here,” Anya says as she throws herself into his arms.

“It’s okay,” Lincoln whispers, easily wrapping his arms around the shorter woman, “It’s okay.”

Lincoln takes in a deep breath as she holds his older cousin close, her heart aching for her. 

“Don’t get sappy on me,” Anya states as she pulls away, wiping away a few tears.

“Says the one who threw themselves in my arms,” Lincoln jokes, but it doesn’t feel right.

“It should’ve been me,” Anya whispers.

“Hey, it was an accident. None of the guilt stuff.”

Anya shakes her head, “I went off on Woods yesterday. Now today my car’s hit by a drunk driver at ten-thirty in the morning?”

Lincoln sighs, biting his bottom lip. 

“Hey,” Lexa greets as she walks up to the two.

“Any news?” Anya questions quickly.

“Abby said that she’s going to make it, but they’re still trying to save her leg.”

“Her leg?”

Lexa sighs, “I guess they might have to cut it off if they can’t save it.”

“But she’s going to live?” Anya questions.

“Abby feels pretty certain she’ll make it,” Lexa confirms.

* * *

“I really shouldn’t allow this,” Abby confesses as she looks around at the five people crowded around the sleeping brunette.

“We’ll leave soon Mom,” Clarke says as she leans over the brunette, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“We will too,” Octavia mumbles, repeating the gesture.

“I’m not leaving,” Anya states, hand firmly holding Raven’s.

Abby sighs, “I’ll tell the staff you’re her fiancée.”

Anya nods in thanks, not looking away from Raven’s sleeping face.

“Call when she wakes up,” Lincoln whispers, gently squeezing Anya’s shoulder.

* * *

Raven whimpers, pain radiating through her whole body.

“Baby?” A voice calls to her. 

It’s a voice she knows, one she wants to come back to.

“Can you squeeze my hand baby? Or open your eyes?” Anya questions, watching intently, the whimper having caused her heart to start racing.

It’s faint, but she can feel the change in pressure around her hand.

“Good job baby,” Anya praises, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to Raven’s forehead. 

As she pulls away, her eyes meet brown, open and hazy, no doubt from the large amount of pain killers she’s on. 

“Hi, baby. Here, drink some water,” Anya says, quickly grabbing the bottle and sticking a straw in it before placing the straw against chapped lips.

Anya watches as Raven sucks down the water, downing almost half the bottle in large gulps.

“Don’t choke baby,” Anya warns, something she’s watched Raven do a lot without the added difficulty of being high.

Raven sighs, closing her eyes again and sinking into the pillow. 

“What happened?” she questions.

“Car accident. You should rest some more,” Anya suggests.

“I love you,” Raven says, opening her eyes. 

Anya takes a deep breath as she looks into brown eyes. 

“I love you too.”

* * *

Raven grunts as the doctor moves her leg.

“She’s in pain. Stop,” Anya orders from the corner of the room.

The doctor ignores the blonde, continuing to check the leg’s movements, taking note of Raven’s grunts and whimpers.

“I’d suggest a brace and physical therapy,” he states.

“A brace?” Raven questions.

The man offers a sad look, “The muscles in your leg are highly unlikely to be strong enough to support you again, not to mention the pain. I’m guessing your nerves have been compromised too, as your reactions varied greatly to the same actions being done.”

“You’re guessing?” Anya questions.

“An educated guess,” he defends.

* * *

“It’s ugly,” Raven complains as Abby shows Anya how to strap the brace to her leg.

“Yes,” Anya agrees.

Abby sighs, “it’s to help you walk, not to look pretty.”

Raven grunts as the straps are pulled tight. 

“Now it’s up to you. It shouldn’t be painful, but it will be uncomfortable.”

Raven nods as she stands up. Abby stands behind her, arms ready to catch her if she were to fall. Anya watches as Raven slowly makes her way to the other side of the room. Raven grunts as she slowly turns, having to pick up the heavy brace each move. She can feel the sweat starting to form.

She almost loses her balance as she looks in front of her. Anya is on the floor, on one knee, with a ring in her hands. Raven can feel Abby’s hands helping to keep her steady, but she ignores them as her jaw drops.

“I don’t want anybody to ever say I can’t be in the hospital room with you ever again. I want you to be my wife. Raven Reyes, will you marry me?” 

Raven falls forward, diving herself headfirst towards Anya. Abby yelps in surprise, but Anya is ready, easily catching Raven with her own body. 

Raven pushes up on her arms to look down at Anya.

“Is that a yes?” Anya questions.

Raven laughs before connecting their lips.

* * *

“What the fuck?” Clarke exclaims, “Lexa! Did you know?” 

Lexa chuckles as she enters their bedroom, “That Anya was proposing to Raven?” 

Clarke’s jaw drops as she lets out an undignified squeak of insult, causing Lexa to let out a deep belly laugh.

“I was sworn to secrecy. Your mom was in on it too,” Lexa explains as she crawls into bed.

“Bitches. All of you.”

“I love you, too.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Do you want me to go with you?” Clarke questions, “I can call in if you want me to go.”

“No baby, it’s alright. I’ll be fine,” Lexa shakes her head as she grabs her coat.

“Are you sure? I really could go,” Clarke questions again, walking into the living room. 

“I’m sure, thank you,” Lexa whispers, closing the distance between them.

“I’ll see you after work?” Clarke questions softly, falling into the hug.

“I’ll pick you up,” Lexa suggests. 

“Perfect,” Clarke grins before connecting their lips. 

Lexa sighs into the kiss, following soft lips as Clarke attempts to pull away. Clarke smiles, causing the kiss to break anyways, Lexa leaning back slightly to look into blue eyes.

“I love you,” she whispers.

“I love you, too. Now you need to get going,” Clarke says, nodding towards the clock on the wall. 

“You telling me the time? I must be a good influence on you,” Lexa jokes, leaning down and connecting their lips softly before taking a step back.

“You are,” Clarke whispers, stealing another kiss before heading back to the bedroom.

* * *

“Lexa Griffin?” 

Lexa takes a deep breath, standing up. The nurse offers a polite flash of a smile as she walks to the door.

“Right this way. You’ll be talking with Erica.” 

Lexa turns the corner to come face to face with who she assumes is Erica. She looks up to the woman before her. 

“Hi, I’m Erica,” the taller woman offers her hand, her voice deeper than Lexa’s ever was. 

“Lexa,” Lexa offers, taking the offered hand.

“Come on into my office, we can talk about some things,” Erica offers, gesturing for Lexa to enter the small room to the right.

Green eyes soak in the small office as she takes a seat on one of the two brown chairs. Completely covering one of the walls is a large trans pride flag, the blue pink and white stripes hiding the wall under it completely. Her eyes trail around the room, taking in the desk with two degrees displayed proudly, and the other walls filled with landscapes using only the trans pride colors, or random inspirational trans-related quotes. 

“Alright, so first off I want to let you know a little about me. I’m a trans woman myself, I started transitioning at forty. I’m not a doctor or psychologist, just a trans person here to help you decide if this is what you want. We aren’t here to tell you no, we aren’t gatekeepers. If you want hormones, we will provide them to you. That said, tell me a little about yourself.”

Lexa swallows, eyes looking everywhere but the woman in front of her as she answers “I’m Lexa. I identify as a woman.”

Erica hums, looking down at the paper on her desk. 

“When did you first feel that way?” she questions.

“I mean, I first came out at twelve,” Lexa admits, scratching the back of her neck.

Erica’s eyebrows raise in surprise, not expecting such an answer, “And how old are you now?”

“I’m twenty-eight.”

Erica nods, jotting down a note on the paper, “And have started socially transitioning? Do people in your life know?”

Lexa sighs, rubbing her palms on her knees, “Can I be honest?” she questions, looking at the older woman.

Erica turns, “Please.”

“I’ve known I’m a girl since I started puberty. The first day I found a single dark hair on my chest I came out to my best friend. I lived under very unsupportive parents until recently, so I was never in a position where I felt safe to come out until now.”

Erica nods, turning to write something else down before turning back and asking carefully, “You said you lived under unsupportive parents until recently, do you have a support system now? People to take care of you as you undergo changes?”

“Yes.”

“And will they still support you if you change your mind?”

“That won’t happen. I’ve been waiting for this for years.”

Erica nods with a small smile, writing down another note before closing the folder. 

“Have you thought of any other paths you’d like to go down? Any surgeries you’d want in the future?” 

Lexa blinks. 

“I… I haven’t really thought about it.” 

Erica flashes a small smile, spinning around in her chair and grabbing a packet. 

“This is a packet I put together. It’s got all kinds of resources. From voice training, which I assume you’ve already started a bit, to hair removal, to surgeons in the area who perform transgender surgeries. I know you’ve changed your name, but have you considered changing your gender marker?”

“I… not really?”

“Well here’s the paper for it, just go to the DMV and fill this out, and they’ll change it. Just tell them you’re transitioning.”

“Okay, let’s go over this packet real quick, then you can be on your way,” Erica says, opening the packet. 

Lexa listens as the woman goes through each page in detail, surprised at how many support groups there are in the area. She politely smiles as Erica goes through the stuff she has no interest in, and the resources for trans men. It takes about ten minutes for her to finish flipping through the packet, handing it back to Lexa.

“So I’ll just take you over to the exam room. I don’t think you have to give blood today, so you can just sit in the chair.”

Lexa nods, “Thank you,” she offers, sitting down in the brown chair in the corner. 

“She’ll be in, in just a few minutes,” Erica says, offering one last kind smile before shutting the door.

Lexa takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a second before looking around the small room. 

It’s like any other exam room. One of those ugly chairs for the patient with the drawers that come out to act as steps, flimsy paper pulled over the leather of the chair. A few posters hand on the walls, information about the female genitalia, a line of pamphlets highlighting all the offered services. 

Lexa’s brows furrow as the takes in the object in the corner. It looks like a microphone stand, but it curves sharply to the right. At the end it looks like, she doesn’t even have a clue. Maybe it’s a light. Shaking her head, she turns towards the one thing she can make out, an Alexa on the counter, playing what she assumes to be some sort of white noise. It’s loud and sounds like the speaker is about to give out, the exact opposite effect she’s sure it’s supposed to provide.

A knock startles her out of her thoughts, a black woman with her natural hair in a full afro walks in with a mask over her face. 

“How are you doing today baby?” she questions, getting a load of hand sanitizer from the pump on the wall.

“Okay, how are you?” Lexa questions politely.

“We’re doing good today. So I’ve just got a few questions to ask you before she comes in to talk to you,” she explains.

Lexa nods, answering the common questions easily. No, she doesn’t smoke. Not sexually active, if she was she’d use condoms always. 

“And, last question, do you want kids?” 

Lexa freezes. 

Her childhood plays in her mind. Her mother trying to offer comfort, but falling flat. Her hugs, always cold. Her father’s hard tone. His fists.   
Suddenly it’s not her father, but her. Her tone coming out too sharp. The fall of her child’s face, the green turning cold. Her hugs are cold, but she doesn’t know how to change them.

“I...” 

Blue eyes replace green as Lexa blinks, her vision changing. 

There’s a smaller blonde on Clarke’s hip, her blue eyes shine just as bright as her moms as they look at Lexa. The child reaches out, calling out “Mama” as Lexa takes her into her own arms, her stress melting away. 

“Yeah.”

“We’ll send you home with a list of places that can help store your sperm for future use. You’ll want to do that before you go on hormones, as hormones can make you infertile.”

Lexa nods as the woman grabs a pamphlet from the line of many, handing it to Lexa. 

“Many of our transgender patients use them, more so our trans men. Depending on your sperm count, you can get it frozen at some other places, so make sure to check around a bit.”

Lexa nods, looking at the pamphlet. 

“And she’ll be here in just a few, baby,” the woman says, leaving Lexa alone once again. 

Lexa takes a deep breath, pulling out her phone, ignoring the no phone sign to her left and looking at her lock screen.   
It’s a picture she snapped of Clarke months ago when they got pizza after they decided on their house. She sighs deeply, thinking of the house that they’ll never get to see again.

A knock interrupts her thoughts, she quickly stuffs her phone back into her pocket, offering her hand to the small white woman who comes in. 

Lexa nods along as the woman explains the changes Lexa can expect, breast growth, decreased hair growth, more emotional, change in orgasms, shrinking of testicles, and going sterile. All things Lexa knows already. 

“Okay, well I’m going to prescribe this for you. You go and pick up the medication, then call and make another appointment to come in and I’ll show you how to properly inject yourself. Do you what intramuscular or subcutaneous?” 

Lexa gives her a confused look, not knowing what those words are.

“Stomach with a small needle, or thigh with a long one?” she offers with a smile.

“Oh, smaller. Of course.”

“And I have to come back for that?” Lexa questions.

“Yes. We want to make sure you do it the correct way.”

Lexa nods. 

“Alright, well that’s about it.”

“Okay, thank you.”

* * *

“So you have to go back? Really?” Clarke questions that night.

“Yeah, it sucks but I guess it’s for the best. They wanna make sure I do it right.”

“Did you tell them your wife was an intern? I can show you how to give yourself a shot.”

Lexa chuckles, “I highly doubt it’s hard. Just stick it in and do it, pretty easy.”

Clarke laughs herself, “You’d be surprised how much people mess it up.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

* * *

“How was it?” Clarke questions from the bedroom.

“Simple,” Lexa answers, blushing at the thought of what all she did today. 

“I told you it would be. Shots are easy,” Clarke explains, walking out of the bedroom. 

Lexa’s brows furrow at the dramatic makeup covering Clarke’s face. 

“Practicing for tomorrow,” Clarke explains. 

Lexa raises an eyebrow, “That’s more makeup than you wore to ours.”

Clarke chuckles, “We had a courthouse wedding babe.”

“So are they?” Lexa questions.

Clarke laughs, shaking her head “We’re surprising Raven.”

“We?”

“Octavia and me. Anya already knows, I thought she told you. We’ve rented out the lab and O got ordained.” 

Lexa’s eyebrows jump up in surprise.

“I also got you something too, come on.”

Lexa allows herself to be dragged into their bedroom, smiling at the excitement of the blonde. 

Stepping into the doorway, she freezes.

Laid across the bed are two dresses. One is a bright red that reminds Lexa of Raven’s leather jacket, and one is black as night. 

“The colors are red and black. Rae is red, and Anya is black. So, since you’re kinda Anya’s maid of honor, I got you a black one.”

“It’s a dress,” Lexa states, still frozen in her spot. 

“You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to Lex. Anya’s wearing a suit anyway, but I just… I wanted you to-”

Clarke’s thoughts are cut off my Lexa’s lips smashing into hers. Clarke sighs in relief, a hand coming up to hold Lexa’s forearm as Lexa’s hands are cradling Clarke’s face. Lexa pulls back, both hands leaving Clarke’s face in favor of her own, wiping away her tears as a sob escapes. 

“Oh, baby,” Clarke coos, her hand coming to Lexa’s hip. 

“Oh,” Clarke gasps in surprise as Lexa suddenly wraps her in a tight hug, her face burying into Clarke’s neck. 

“Shh baby,” she soothes, a hand running through Lexa’s hair, now long enough to push behind her ears. 

“I love you. Thank you,” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s shoulder.

* * *

Lexa smiles shyly at Anya, taking in the nervous blonde while being nervous herself.

“You look good, kid,” Anya offers, looking down at her own hands.

“She’s going to love this,” Lexa whispers, her nerves calming as she talks with Anya.

“I… I hope so,” Anya admits. 

A loud crash of the front doors opening breaks them from their moment, both turning towards the door to the room they’re in.

“Why the fuck do I need to be stopping at the lab on my wedding day!?” Raven yells.

Anya goes white as the doors open, revealing Raven angrily looking at her two best friends who just threw open the door. Everything freezes as the brides take in each other.

Lincoln nudges Anya’s side, “Go get her.”

Lexa smiles as she watches Octavia do the same to Raven, tears filling her eyes as she watches the two close the distance between each other.

“I don’t understand,” Raven says, looking around at their closest friends.

“Surprise. This is your wedding and I’m marrying you,” Octavia says.

Raven’s jaw drops, brown eyes trailing around, looking at their closest friends. 

“Thank you,” she settles on, looking back at her wife to be.

“Let’s get married, babe,” Anya whispers, leading Raven towards their makeshift altar, one hand going around Raven’s hip to help support her.

Lexa sighs in content as they exchange vows, stealing glances at her wife.

* * *

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Clarke questions, not bothering to look up from her spot face down in the bed.

“Being you.”

Clarke chuckles, rolling over to look Lexa in the eye. 

“Thank you for being you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you,” Clarke mumbles, connecting their lips once before turning and snuggling into the covers. 

Lexa hums to herself, continuing to read her book. She finishes her chapter, closing the book and turning to her sleeping wife. 

“You’d make me a good parent, I’m sure,” she admits, earning no response except Clarke’s even breathing.

“And even if we don’t, at least they’re there. Better safe than sorry,” Lexa whispers to herself before turning off the light and allowing herself to follow Clarke into unconsciousness. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Dysphoria

Lexa takes a deep breath, the music blasting in her ears as she holds her plank. She glances at the mirror to her left, checking her form. Her eyes connect with Clarke’s, across their new apartment. 

“What are you doing?” Lexa questions, pausing her workout and taking out her earbuds to look at Clarke sitting on the couch.

“Watching you,” Clarke admits, blue eyes trailing the sweaty body of her wife. 

Lexa rolls her eyes in amusement, pushing off the floor into a pushup, ignoring her wife. Clarke hums, enjoying herself as she watches Lexa continue her workout. 

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Lexa questions, standing up and starting on her squats. 

“Yes,” Clarke answers honestly, eyes drawn to the tight behind of her wife. 

Lexa grunts, pushing through the rest of her workout. As she finishes up, she grabs her water bottle, sucking down the water and pushing the flyaways out of her face. 

“I can defiantly feel a difference,” Lexa comments, reaching up to stretch her muscles. 

“From the estrogen?” Clarke questions, still watching.

“Yeah. Workouts seem to be getting harder.”

“If it helps, I can see a difference too.”

Lexa’s heart sores at the small comment as she looks at her wife. 

“You can?” she questions, unsure.

“Oh yeah. You just look… I dunno, softer. Your skin is softer too,” Clarke explains with a shrug. 

“You really think so?” Lexa questions softly, looking at the mirror hanging up in the corner. 

“Of course. Although, I hope your jawline doesn’t go away completely. It’s just so kissable,” Clarke mumbles, standing up and walking to Lexa to press kisses against it.

“Stop,” Lexa laughs, half-heartedly pushing Clarke away, “I’m all gross.”

“Your sweat tastes better too,” Clarke whispers, licking Lexa’s neck.

“Ew! You’re gross,” Lexa laughs harder, pushing Clarke away to hold her at arm’s length. 

“Gross for you,” Clarke wags her eyebrows, sending Lexa into another laughing fit. 

“God I love you,” Lexa grins, allowing Clarke to pull her into a hug. 

“I love you.”

* * *

“Come on,” Clarke says, pulling Lexa to the left by their connected hands. 

“What?” Lexa questions as they walk into Victoria’s Secret, “You still have plenty of lotion at home, it’s in the bottom drawer of the dresser.”

“I was thinking that we could find you something,” Clarke suggests as they make their way to the corner, ignoring the other people shopping.

“Me?” Lexa questions, eyes wide.

Clarke pointedly looks down at Lexa’s chest, causing Lexa to do the same. 

“I… Do you think they’re big?” Lexa whispers, eyes focused on her chest. 

“I don’t think you’ll be getting away without any for much longer, baby,” Clarke whispers, then turns towards the closest display, “Plus you’d look so pretty in these.”

Lexa looks at the display, the bra on the mannequin is completely see-through, little red hearts of confetti lining the top. Clarke watches as the color drains from Lexa’s face at the sight of the lingerie. 

“I’m kidding baby, come here,” Clarke whispers, easily dragging her deeper into the store. 

“I was thinking more like sports bras for you,” she suggests, pointing at the bras now in front of them. 

Lexa swallows, looking at the wall of bras in front of her. They’re much more, well, there. Obviously built for support instead of sexiness, most a single color, black or grey. 

“You’re probably an A cup, so you don’t need much padding,” Clarke explains, reaching for a rather simple grey bra, “You can probably get away with no wires too.”

Lexa swallows, looking at the fabric in Clarke’s hand. 

“Do you wanna try any of them on, baby girl?” Clarke questions, gently touching Lexa’s shoulder to ground her.

Lexa blinks. 

“Okay, maybe we should come back and do this another time. I shouldn’t have-”

“No,” Lexa cuts her off, “I… I’m just… There’s a lot,” she says, nodding towards the wall. 

“Overwhelming?” Clarke questions, looking at the bras, nodding as she realizing how many there are. 

“Very.”

Clarke nods, “Do you want me to attempt to explain some of it?”

“Please.”

“Okay, so, since we’re looking for you we’re going to look for ones without a lot of padding.”

“Like these?” Lexa questions, gesturing towards the largest bra on the shelf, a massively padded push-up bra. 

“Yeah. I mean, I guess we can get you a few with more padding, for days you don’t work at the center. Padding is mostly to either make you look bigger or hold up what you’ve got. Like, mine have padding because I’m a decent size.”

“Makes sense.”

“Sports bras are made for doing sports.”

“That’s kinda a given, Clarke.”

Clarke flushes red, “Shut up,” she orders before stealing a kiss.

“Now, as I was saying. Sports bras are for sports, so they’re made to keep your boobs from going everywhere as you do all your running and jumping and all the stuff.”

“I have noticed some… Uncomfortableness in my chest recently,” Lexa admits.

“Yeah, so something like this would be good for you. Not super thick, just there to kinda, keep you together.” 

“Mhm,” Lexa nods, looking at the bras in front of her. 

“I would suggest staying away from white. Sweat and white don’t go together.”

“Yeah. What are the numbers and letters?” Lexa questions, feeling the fabric of a few of the bras.

“Oh duh, I should’ve started there. The number is how big around your chest is, and the letter is how big your boobs are. Goes from A on up. I think you’re an A for sure, plus you’re about the same size as me, so I think a 34 would work for you.”

“This one?” Lexa questions, grabbing a black bra.

“Yeah, we should try it on before we buy it though, you never know.”

“Okay. Should we grab more first?”

“Yeah. So we should also get you something to wear when you’re not working out. Bralettes are super cute, and since I’m too big to wear them, you gotta wear them for me.”

Lexa tilts her head in confusion.

“Bralettes are basically bras you can wear as a shirt. They’re over here.”

“Oh. Raven wears these,” Lexa says, taking in the bralettes.

“Yeah, they’re super cute. They don’t really support bigger girls though,” Clarke sighs. 

“What size are you?” 

“I’m a 34D.”

“They have your size, right here,” Lexa says, grabbing a grey bralette. 

“Yeah, but they don’t really look good babe,” Clarke shakes her head.

“Nonsense. You look good in everything.”

Clarke can feel her face heat up at the compliment, “Thank you, but-”

“No buts. We’re going to get this too,” Lexa decides. 

Clarke grins, giving in “Okay.”

“Now, what do you think will look good?” Lexa questions, looking at the massive collection. 

“Oh, I get to pick?”

“If you want to.”

“I think baby pink would look wonderful on you. Plus some black and grey, for everyday use of course.”

“So the pink is just for you?” 

“Baby,” Clarke says seriously, waiting until green eyes connect with hers, “I don’t care what you wear at all. I just want you to be comfortable.”

Lexa grins, “I love you.”

* * *

“I can’t believe we got such a good deal,” Clarke grins as they enter their bedroom.

“Good deal? That was a robbery,” Lexa disagrees, setting their bags on the bed.

“You’re a woman babe, the pink tax is real,” Clarke laughs as she plops on the bed.

“That’s not even what the pink tax is,” she grumbles, opening the bag and pulling out her new bras.

“I still think we should’ve gotten some panties too,” Clake mumbles, sitting up and undoing her bra without taking off her shirt.

“Like I told you, you are free to buy them. I’ve got plenty of underwear,” Lexa shakes her head, opening her underwear drawer and putting her new bras in it.

“There’s always room for more,” Clarke argues, throwing her bra towards the hamper, missing completely. 

“Clarke,” Lexa scolds, picking it up and placing it in the hamper before pulling out the bralette Clarke got.

“Oh, you want a show?” Clarke questions with a wiggle of her eyebrows. 

Lexa flushes, turning away from the blonde. 

“I’m joking baby,” Clarke apologizes quickly.

Lexa sighs, “I know. I’m sorry,” she says, heading to their dresser to put away the bra.

“Lexa,” Clarke sighs, standing up as Lexa opens one of her drawers. 

Lexa’s jaw drops and suddenly Clarke remembers why they have separate drawers still. Clarke’s cheeks turn a bright red as she looks away from questioning eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke apologizes, biting her bottom lip.

“I uh… Wow,” Lexa says, looking at sex toys in the drawer before her, a collection of dildos and vibrators. 

Clarke swallows, “I, you weren’t supposed to find that.”

Lexa blinks. 

“Baby?” Clarke questions softly, walking closer to Lexa.

“I…” Lexa sighs, her arms wrapping around her stomach as the tiny voice in her head starts yelling at her.

“Hey, look at me,” Clarke begs, gently crowding into Lexa’s space, waiting until green eyes meet hers to talk. 

“I love you, Lexa. I don’t want you to ever feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to...”

Lexa shakes her head, “I know, and you don’t. I just… I forgot,” she admits.

Clarke sighs, wrapping Lexa into a hug. 

“Can I ask you a question that might be one I’m not supposed to ask?” Clarke whispers a few minutes later.

Lexa lets out a small chuckle, pulling away to look into blue eyes. She leans in wordlessly, pressing their lips together softly before nodding.

“Does it bother you that I masturbate?” 

Lexa sighs, burying her head back into Clarke’s neck. 

“No. It bothers me I’m not the one making you cum,” she admits softly, pressing a kiss to her neck. 

Clarke groans, tilting her head to the side to let Lexa continue to kiss her neck. 

“I wish I felt good enough in myself to just… Take you,” Lexa continues, her hand clenching Clarke’s hip at the thought.

“Fuck,” Clarke moans, her hand coming up to grasp at Lexa’s hair, now shoulder length.

Lexa sighs, closing her eyes as the voice in the back of her mind kills her mood. 

“Does it help that I’m always thinking of you?” Clarke questions. 

Lexa groans before connecting their lips roughly, earning a moan from Clarke. Lexa’s hands move quicker than her mind, ripping Clarke’s shirt over her head as they move backwards towards the bed.

Clarke falls backward onto the bed, topless and panting. Lexa’s dark green eyes take in her nude chest. And everything shifts.

It’s as if there was an earthquake, but Lexa’s the only person who felt it. Her eyes slam shut and she concentrates on breathing. 

“Baby?” Clarke questions softly, confused at the sudden change in her wife. 

Lexa flinches at the word, her hands wrapping around her stomach as she turns away from the blonde.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa whispers, eyes closed tightly.

Clarke takes a deep breath, ignoring the wetness in her panties as she finds her shirt, throwing it back on.

“It’s okay baby girl,” Clarke whispers, slowly walking towards the brunette standing in the center of the room. 

“Can I touch you?” Clarke questions softly, waiting for Lexa to nod before molding herself to Lexa’s back, wrapping her arms around Lexa’s stomach.

“I love you, my pretty girl,” Clarke whispers into her ear, “You’re so beautiful. So kind and smart and sweet. I don’t need anything more from you than what you already give me, okay?”

“I want to give you more,” Lexa argues.

“Someday, baby girl. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

Lexa sighs, but sinks into the blonde’s plush body. 

“Good girl,” Clarke praises, pressing a kiss to Lexa’s neck. 

“Mmm,” Lexa hums, turning in Clarke’s arms.

“Better?” 

“Mhm,” Lexa connects their lips softly, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's a horndog bc the author is on T, and thus is a horndog himself. Keep an eye out for upcoming smut in 'Shining' or some other random fic, idk. But smut is coming soon, somewhere.   
> ALSo, I hope you enjoyed this. Leave me your thoughts below! What did you like, what didn't you like? Let me know! Or better yet, come to Tumblr and talk to me about it!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Smut.  
> Shouldn't be triggering to my trans readers, but please be mindful if the thought of sex makes you dysphoric, this chapter prob isn't for you.

“Baby?” Clarke questions gently, blue eyes taking in the brunette sitting on the kitchen floor, tear tracks visible down her cheeks. 

“Klark? When did you get home?” Lexa questions, wiping away her tears and scrambling to her feet.

“I just got here,” she answers, closing the distance between them and looking into green eyes, “What’s going on?”

Lexa pulls Clarke into a hug, a smile from ear to ear.

“They booked me for my breast augmentation,” she whispers as if saying it too loud with cause it to run away. 

“Really?” Clarke questions, pulling away with a huge smile, “Booked?”

“Yes! I’m just so fucking happy,” Lexa admits, tears falling again.

“Me too baby,” Clarke grins, tears filling her eyes as she pulls Lexa back into the hug. 

“I can’t believe this is real,” Lexa admits into Clarke’s shoulder, sinking into the hug.

“Believe it, baby girl, it’s all real.”

Lexa chuckles, giving Clarke one last squeeze before pulling away, “Come on,” she orders, intertwining their hands and pulling her towards the bedroom.

“What? Post cry nap time?” Clarke jokes as they enter the bedroom. 

“I had another thought,” Lexa admits, grabbing the bottom of her shirt and throwing it off. 

Clarke freezes, eyes on the baby pink bra Lexa’s wearing, her dark tan nipples visible through the thin fabric that’s almost see-through. Blue eyes flick back up to green, questioning. 

“I showed you mine, how about you show me yours?” Lexa suggests, gently tugging on the bottom of Clarke’s shirt. 

“Fuck,” Clarke whispers, ignoring the command as she reaches forward, grabbing Lexa’s hips and pulling her close as she connects their lips. 

Lexa falls into the kiss, enjoying as Clarke’s hands leave her hips to cup her face gently. Her own hands find their way to Clarke’s ass, one gently giving it a squeeze. 

“Fuck Lexa,” Clarke groans, pulling away slightly and looking into green eyes, her thumb caressing Lexa’s plump bottom lip, “Are you sure about this baby?”

“I want to taste you,” Lexa states, dropping to her knees as her hands come to undo the button on Clarke’s jeans.

“Holy fuck baby,” she moans, helping Lexa pull her jeans off.

Lexa groans herself at the sight of Clarke’s underwear, a simple black pair of boxers than used to be hers. She glances up, meeting blue eyes through her lashes as she leans in, pushing Clarke’s shirt up to press a kiss near her belly button. 

Clarke’s thighs squeeze together as she pulls her shirt over her head, then she reaches behind herself, easily undoing her bra and freeing her breasts. 

“Fuck,” Lexa mumbles as Clarke throws her bra carelessly, coming back to her feet as her eyes are locked on Clarke’s newly exposed chest. 

Clarke wastes no time grabbing Lexa behind the neck and pulling her into a deep kiss. Lexa groans into the kiss, her hands awkwardly settling on Clarke’s hips again, unsure of where to put them. Clarke takes matters into her own hands, grabbing Lexa’s and bringing them to her breasts. 

Her moans break their kiss as Lexa starts massaging them, so Lexa leans in further, pressing kisses to the side of her neck, enjoying the new sounds spilling out of the blonde.

“Lexa, fuck,” Clarke groans, her hand on Lexa’s bare stomach, “Can I touch you too?” 

Lexa responds by mirroring what Clarke did, taking her hands and leading them to her breasts as she reconnects their lips. 

“Oh fuck,” Lexa mumbles in surprise as Clarke’s thumbs graze her nipples through the thin fabric. 

Clarke chuckles, “You like that baby?” she questions as she continues. 

Lexa nods before connecting their lips again, groaning as Clarke snaps the bottom of the bra, pulling away to whisper, “Take this off?”

She groans, pulling away to pull the bra over her head. Clarke grins, sitting back on the bed to watch her wife, one hand cupping her own breast. 

“You’re so fucking hot baby girl,” Clarke groans, her other hand coming to her center as she rubs her nipple.

Lexa chokes on her spit as she takes in her wife. Pale skin and mussed hair, kiss swollen lips, one hand touching herself under the black boxers. 

“Come here,” Clarke whines, removing her hand from the boxers and reaching towards the brunette. 

Lexa grabs her outstretched hand, meeting blue eyes before taking the glistening fingers into her mouth. Their moans run together as Lexa cleans Clarke’s essence off her fingers. 

“Kiss me, baby,” Clarke pleads as Lexa lets go of her wrist.

Lexa’s happy to oblige, crawling up the bed to connect their lips. Their moans mingle as their breasts graze each other as Lexa’s body hovers over Clarke’s. Blue eyes meet green for a moment time stops as Clarke checks in without words, her hand cupping Lexa’s cheek softly. Lexa answers the silent questions by connecting their lips, then pressing a kiss to her chin, then her neck, and trailing down to her breast. 

“Fuck Lexa,” Clarke moans as Lexa sucks on her nipple, her hand coming to tangle in Lexa’s hair and pull it to the side, it now past shoulder length. 

Lexa grins into Clarke’s breast, her hand coming up to play with the other one as she pulls away slightly, looking at the wet pink bud. 

“Can I use your hair tie?” Lexa questions, pulling a strand of hair away from her lips.

“Yeah,” Clarke nods, taking the hair tie from her wrist and offering it to the brunette. 

Lexa sits up, gathering her hair and pulling it into a messy ponytail without care. 

“I think these need to go,” Lexa mumbles, biting her bottom lip as she plays with the waistband of Clarke’s boxers. 

“So take them off,” Clarke challenges, lifting her butt up so she can remove them easier. 

Lexa grins in amusement, easily removing them, throwing them without care over her shoulder. Green eyes drink in the newly exposed skin.

“If I would’ve known I would’ve shaved,” Clarke mumbles as Lexa looks at her small tuff of hair. 

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Lexa soothes, connecting their lips. 

Clarke arches into Lexa’s exploring hands, softly caressing her body as they travel from her breasts to the soft curve of her stomach. One jumps over her center, landing on her thigh, giving the firm flesh a squeeze as Lexa pulls back from the kiss.

“Touch me, please,” Clarke begs before Lexa can speak, opening her legs even wider. 

Lexa licks her bottom lip, looking down to watch as her hand slides from Clarke’s thigh to her center. 

Clarke’s groan mixes with Lexa’s as she leans down and presses a kiss to Clarke’s neck.

“You’re so wet,” Lexa whispers into her ear, her fingers coated as she explores. 

“You drive me crazy baby girl,” Clarke whines, her hips moving to help Lexa’s fingers. 

“You like that?” Lexa questions, rubbing Clarke’s clit.

Clarke’s only response is a moan, causing Lexa to smirk. Lexa pulls her fingers away slightly, a string of Clarke’s wetness clings to her fingers.

“Fuck,” Lexa whispers to herself, moving down to settle between Clarke’s thighs. 

Lexa runs her clean hand through her ponytail, pulling it behind her as she settles her cheek against the inside of Clarke’s thigh, eyes glued on Clarke’s glistening center. 

“Shit! Lexa,” Clarke moans as Lexa’s takes her first lick, her hand shooting down to tangle in Lexa’s hair.

“Mhm,” Lexa hums in response, her hand coming to the small tuft of hair above Clarke’s center, gently pulling her folds open more.

Clarke moans louder as Lexa licks from her entrance up to her clit. Lexa smirks to herself before changing the pattern, licking in circular motions before sucking softly, taking Clarke’s clit into her mouth for a moment before continuing. 

“Fuck,” she moans, her hips moving to help Lexa get her every inch.

Lexa swallows, biting her bottom lip before focusing on Clarke’s entrance. She hums, drinking Clarke’s essence from the source, earning even louder moans the further she goes into Clarke.

“Fingers, please,” Clarke begs.

Lexa hums, taking the hand that has touched Clarke before and sucking it into her own mouth before giving Clarke’s clit a gentle rub. Then she positions her middle finger at her entrance, looking up to meet blown blue eyes before sinking into Clarke. 

“Fuck, you’re so wet,” Lexa groans as her finger seems to be pulled into Clarke’s depths.

“Shit,” Clarke moans as Lexa’s starts thrusting her finger. 

Clarke’s hand moves from Lexa’s hair to her own clit, rubbing harshly as her hips help Lexa’s movement. 

“I’m going to cum. Keep doing that,” Clarke orders, her own fingers rubbing viscously as her moans get louder. 

Lexa moans herself, speeding up her thrusts and pressing a kiss to Clarke’s thigh. 

“Fuck, Lexa!” Clarke yells, throwing her head back as her whole body tenses. 

Lexa hums, enjoying the squeeze around her finger, waiting until her body relaxes to remove her finger.

“Come here,” Clarke whispers, a request Lexa fulfills quickly, wiping her hand on the bed as she moves to connect their lips.

“Fuck baby,” Clarke whispers, panting slightly as her hands wrap around Lexa, feeling her bare back.

“You okay?” Lexa questions softly, looking into blue eyes as she brushes a blonde hair to the side. 

“Yeah, just… Give me a minute and I’ll take care of you,” she says, still breathing heavy. 

Lexa shakes her head, “I’m good baby.”

Clarke raises an eyebrow. 

“I’m…” Lexa sighs, “I’m not ready for you to touch me… yet. I just, I couldn’t wait to touch you any longer,” she explains, pink coating her cheeks. 

“God, you’re going to make me ready to go again,” Clarke admits.

“I mean, you cumming in my mouth sounds like a pretty good way to celebrate to me,” Lexa grins, pressing a soft kiss to Clarke’s lips, then down her neck.

“Fuck Lex, you’re a fucking minx,” Clarke groans as Lexa’ continues down her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The JellyFilledGirls over on Pornhub have been giving me life lately. If you want to see some real lesbian sex, they are 110% what Clexa would be irl.  
> Their videos are def inspiring some sexy times to come...  
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this. Let me know what you thought below!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Talk of the size of breast implants briefly in an ignorant way that might be triggering to mtf reading? Just, be careful, like always.   
> <3

“Rae, are you kidding me?” Clarke questions into her phone, running a hand through her hair.

“I know, I know. I just… Please?”

“I know you guys like your new house and stuff Rae, but this is supposed to be a surprise for Lexa. It’s our turn to-”

“I know Clarke, just-”

“I ordered her a cake too, Rae. I can’t really just stop by and pick up a cake on our way without telling her what’s going on,” Clarke states, her hands moving even though Raven can’t see them.

“I’ll get O and Linc to pick it up. Just trust me, okay?” 

Clarke sighs, shaking her head, ready to argue. There’s a noise on Raven’s side of the phone, faint, but it causes Clarke to pause, trying to make it out. It sounds like someone is screaming or crying, but it’s too faint to make out.

“Just trust me,” Raven states, blocking out the noise, “I gotta go.”

“Rae-”

“I just, I gotta surprise. I mean, it’s not exactly for Lexa, but she’s going to love it. I promise. You just gotta trust me.”

“Rae-” 

Clarke pauses in surprise, a scream definitely coming from the other end of the phone.

“‘Love you bye,” Raven states, hanging up the phone without another word, leaving Clarke confused.

* * *

“I don’t understand why we’re going to their place. It’s our turn to host,” Lexa states, turning on the car.

“I dunno,” Clarke answers honestly, sending a text reminding Octavia to pick up the cake, “Rae just said she needed it to be at her place. Wouldn’t give me a real reason.”

“Seatbelt,” Lexa orders, earning a small eye roll, waiting until she hears the click to start driving, “Anya wouldn’t say anything either. She’s also been really distant lately, something’s up.”

“Well, I guess we’ll see when we get there,” Clarke shrugs, turning the radio up. 

Lexa smirks as Clarke starts singing, grabbing the blonde’s hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it wordlessly as she focuses on driving.

* * *

Lexa freezes, green eyes taking in the scene before her. There’s a banner hanging across the archway to the living room that says,  _ Congrats Lexa!  _ And in smaller text, handwritten, it states  _ (for your tits) _ , which would be enough to bring tears to her eyes on a normal day. However, she doesn’t even glance at it. 

Instead, they’re locked on Anya. Her hair isn’t pulled back or in braids, instead, it’s left down, natural. She’s also topless, dressed on only a pair of sweatpants and her nude-colored bra, but that still isn’t what Lexa’s eyes are focused on. 

In her arms, cradled to the nude part of her chest is a sleeping baby. A full head of black messy curls is all Lexa can see. 

“Hey,” Anya states, bringing Lexa’s eyes to hers, Lexa’s jaw-dropping.

Even with bags under her eyes, her hair shiny with grease and unbrushed, she is glowing. 

“Come meet your niece,” Anya smiles, her hand gently brushing through the child’s black curls.

“You two had a fucking baby!?” Clarke whisper yells, eyes wide and jaw dropped as Raven comes from down the hallway, Octavia and Lincoln on her heels.

Lexa doesn’t listen as Raven replies, instead slowly walking towards Anya, eyes on the baby.

“Her name is Nari,” Anya whispers, smiling as Lexa reaches out, caressing Nari’s back softly, “You want to hold her, Aunt Lexa?” 

Lexa’s eyes fill with tears as she looks up, meeting Anya’s eyes.

“I’m her aunt?” Lexa questions softly.

“Well, I mean, we can just call you Lexa-”

“No,” Lexa shakes her head, letting out a wet laugh as she wipes away a tear with the back of her hand, “I just… I never thought I’d be an aunt,” she confesses, smiling as Nari blinks, brown eyes looking up at Lexa.

“Here, hold her,” Anya says, gently handing her to Lexa, “Make sure you support her head, like-” Anya moves Lexa’s hand softly, cupping the back of Nari’s neck, “Perfect.”

Lexa grins, turning and looking at Clarke with a huge grin. Clarke smiles back, warmth filling her chest as she forgets that she was talking to her friends, walking to Lexa and wrapping her arms around her waist, pulling her back against her front.

“I’m an aunt. We’re aunts,” Lexa whispers, gazing at the baby in her arms.

“We are,” Clarke nods, pressing a kiss to Lexa’s shoulder, gazing down at Nari.

“Hey, just because this is a party for you doesn’t mean you get to hog the baby,” Octavia states, breaking them out of their moment.

“Party for me?” Lexa questions, brows furrowing. 

Lincoln chuckles, sitting down on the couch, “There’s a banner and balloons when you come in the door, Lex.”

Lexa turns, looking at the door, brows rising as she finds exactly what he said.

“There’s cake in the kitchen too,” Clarke mumbles into her ear.

“Why though?” Lexa questions, still confused.

“For your tits dude,” Raven grins, taking Nari from Lexa gently.

“Yeah, we’re all excited for you,” Octavia nods, grinning as she’s handed the baby.

“Well, thanks,” Lexa blushes, leaning back into Clarke’s embrace, grinning as Clarke walks her towards the chair, then sits down and pulls her into her lap.

“So, how big are you going?” Raven questions.

“Raven,” Anya warns, shooting a look at her wife.

“What?” Raven questions, arms raised, “It’s a legit question. I’m just wondering if I should be expecting like some Clarke level tits or what,” she defends.

Anya rolls her eyes, looking at Lexa, “Ignore her.”

Lexa shrugs, ignoring the heat in her face as Clarke squeezes her hip in support.

“It’s fine. I mean, we’re going to keep it natural looking. Not too big, just maybe a size up or so I think.”

“I mean, you look good now,” Octavia states, causing Lexa to blush even more.

“Okay, stop looking at my girls’ tits,” Clarke states, her hands coming up and hovering over Lexa’s chest, interlocking her hands and attempting to block everybody’s view.

Everybody chuckles, even Lexa as Lexa shakes her head, taking Clarke’s hands in hers, pressing a kiss to the back of her hands.

“Alright, sorry Lex,” Octavia says, “In other news…” she trails off, holding up her hand. 

There sits a bright and shiny ring, earning gasps of surprise from Clarke and Raven, smirks from Anya and Lexa.

“You knew already and didn’t tell me, again? Asshole!” Clarke pinches Lexa’s side, earning a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, starting to get into more discourse over on Tumblr. Don't let my opinions on lgbt(+) issues distract from the story. This is a discourse free zone. (But if you want to talk, my Tumblr is open, of course).


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Dysphoria

“Are you okay?” Clarke questions softly, trailing her fingers across the back of Lexa’s hand.

“I’m nervous,” Lexa admits, sighing as she plays with the gown she’s in.

“Hey, Doctor Sloan knows what he’s doing, we have nothing to worry about, okay?”

“But like… What if I made the wrong choice? Maybe we should’ve gone for saline and over-”

“Hush baby,” Clarke silences her with a kiss, “No more worrying.”

Lexa sinks into the kiss, her worry drained away by the softness.

“Oh, sorry to interrupt, but it’s about time to get this show started,” Dr. Sloan himself jokes as he comes into the room.

Lexa turns pink as Clarke pulls away with a chuckle, squeezing Lexa’s hand.

“And we’re ready, right baby?” 

Lexa nods, squeezing her hand back as Sloan starts going over the surgery once again.

* * *

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?” Clarke questions softly as Lexa blinks away. 

Lexa opens her mouth to answer, but instead out comes a cough. Her throat hurts, it’s so sore and dry. 

“Here, my love,” Clarke coos, pressing a straw to her lips as soon as she stops coughing, “That’s because of the tube. It should feel better in a day or so,” she explains softly.

“Fuck,” Lexa groans, throwing her head back, “It hurts. I feel like I got shot. Twice,” she explains, grunting.

Clarke smiles softly, gently touching the side of Lexa’s face, “But look.”

And Lexa finally looks down. 

Her chest is covered by bandages. She can feel the tightness where it’s wrapped around her body, keeping it close. The itch of the incisions where the cut into her skin. All of the bad is outweighed, greatly outweighed, but the good.

There’s something there. 

It’s not a small lump that disappears when she shifts, no. There are breasts there. Full handfuls of boob, obvious even under layers of bandages and the gown. 

“Oh, baby,” Clarke coos as Lexa’s tears start falling.

* * *

Lexa rolls her eyes at Clarke’s exaggerated eyebrow movements as her eyes meet blue again, having done a track around Clarke’s nude body.

“Like what you see?” Clarke questions, continuing to move her eyebrows,

Lexa can’t stop her grin as she shakes her head.

“Take off your pants. You can sit here and I’ll just wash your hair,” Clarke orders, sitting down against the side of the tub.

“Shouldn’t I just like, lean over the tub?” Lexa questions, brows furrowing.

“Nah, just sit here. I’ll be careful,” Clarke orders, pointing at the tub.

“Okay, but if it gets wet, you’re talking to Sloan,” Lexa states, pulling her pants off and sitting in the tub, hands covering her center, still uncomfortable with Clarke looking at her.

“Please, I could take him down,” Clarke jokes, touching Lexa’s shoulder, hoping to put her at ease.

“I’m sure you could, love,” Lexa hums as Clarke turns on the spray.

“Lean back some more, hold onto your knees.”

Lexa clenches her jaw, swallowing as she looks down at herself. Her breasts are covered, still in the compression half shirt to help with swelling, and her bottom is… Well, there’s something there. And there shouldn’t be. 

“Hey,” Clarke’s voice is gentle, coaxing her back to the moment, “I just gotta wash your hair baby, then we can just go and cuddle in bed, I promise, okay? Don’t even look. Just close your eyes and trust me, okay?”

Lexa sighs, looking back at Clarke and offering a small smile of gratitude, reaching out to pull Clarke closer. 

“Shit,” Lexa curses, having forgotten about the fact she can’t simply reach out, as it pulls on her incision site.

“Baby,” Clarke coos, reaching out and cupping Lexa’s chin before leaning over the tub and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. 

“I love you,” Lexa whispers as Clarke pulls away.

“I love you,” Clarke smiles, “Now, lean back.”

Lexa smirks, closing her eyes and leaning back, enjoying as Clarke gently wets her hair. Letting out a soft moan as Clarke massages shampoo into her scalp, forgetting about her body as Clarke starts humming a random song.

“I love you,” Lexa states as Clarke starts rinsing her hair, not opening her eyes in the slightest. 

“I love you. Sap.”

* * *

Lexa bites her bottom lip, eyes focused on her hands, currently sitting in her lap. 

“Goodmorning Lexa, how’s it going?” Dr. Sloan questions as he enters, looking down at a chart, her glances up, brows raising in surprise as he finds Abby sitting next to Lexa instead of Clarke. 

“Dr. Griffin, what a surprise,” he nods at her.

“Clarke should be here soon, got held up at work,” Abby explains, glancing at Lexa.

“Ah, well that happens. How are we feeling today Lexa?” 

Lexa sucks at her bottom lip before nodding, “I’m good.”

“A little nervous huh? That’s typical. Today we get to see your chest for the first time. Now, there might be some swelling and bruising still, so this is not the final look. We’re just going to check and make sure we don’t need any other surgeries, okay?” 

Lexa nods her understanding.

“Alright, well if you wanna just take off your shirt, I’ll help unwrap you, okay?”

Lexa nods again, unbuttoning her flannel with ease, clenching her jaw as she does so.

“I can leave if you want honey,” Abby offers, gently touching her shoulder.

“It’s ‘kay,” Lexa mumbles, sliding her shirt off. 

“Can you stand up for me?” Dr. Sloan asks, Lexa following his orders, putting her arms up slowly when he asks, attempting not to move as he unwraps her.

Lexa takes a deep breath as the compression part is taken off, feeling like it’s the first breath she’s taken in a week. 

“They look wonderful Lexa,” Dr. Sloan states, his gloved hands poking and checking them.

“The incision site will go down?” Abby questions from her seat, her eyes focused on Lexa’s left incision site. 

“Yes. It looks like this side just got a little more irritated than the other. Most likely reaching for something or moving too quickly,” he explains, touching the area around it, “It should heal on its own without much scarring.”

Lexa nods, remembering how she reached for her cereal this morning, and all the other times she reached a little too much. 

“Here, so you can see the amazing job we did,” Dr. Sloan grins, pulling out a mirror and holding it so Lexa can see.

Suddenly Lexa can’t see. Her tears are coming fast as she takes in her chest. They’re full and round and look good, even if they’re an ugly shade of yellow from the bruising. 

Next thing she knows she’s being hugged, breathing in she knows the sweet smell of shampoo and falls deeper into Clarke’s embrace.

“Sorry I’m late doc,” Clarke jokes to Sloan over her shoulder, gently rubbing her hand over Lexa’s back.

“I think you burst in at the perfect time,” he chuckles, watching as Lexa regains her composer.

“Now, Lexa. My only concern is with your areolas. I know we talked earlier about the possibility of resizing, but-”

“No, they’re perfect,” Lexa cuts him off, looking down at them, then into the mirror, then back down.

“Well, if you do ever change your mind, I’d also suggest tattoos. Anyways, on to what to expect next…”

Lexa doesn’t listen, instead focused on looking at herself. Finally, she can look down and see what should be there. She sighs, clenching her jaw as she thinks of the one thing left that shouldn’t be there. 

Clarke’s hand tangles in hers and Lexa can’t stop her grin as she looks at her wife. Squeezing her hand in thanks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, make sure to check out my new fic, 'Screw Stardust' which is a swap of Stardust, with trans!Clarke instead of trans!Lexa. I'm having a lot of fun with it!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, there is smut ahead. Shouldn't be triggering for anybody, but Lexa does come to orgasm. It doesn't involve any direct touching, so it shouldn't be triggering to any transwomen out there, but I'm warning you in case it is.  
> 

“Hey, Lexa, what’re you up to?” Lincoln questions as he enters their small break room, sweat glistening as he heads towards the fridge to grab a bottle of water. 

Lexa sighs, sitting back from the small desk they set up in the corner for her, papers spread across the top, as she pushes her glasses to the top of her head, rubbing at her eyes. 

“Things aren’t adding up, Linc.”

Lincoln’s brows furrow as he takes a sip of his water, “What’ca mean?”

“We’re spending way too much money Lincoln. We could be saving so much. And our taxes don’t make any sense, we’re paying way too much,” Lexa explains, pushing the papers towards him.

“Chris deals will all of that stuff Lex,” Lincolns waves her off, sitting down on a stool.

“No, this can’t be right. Someone is taking some off the top Linc, I’m sure,” Lexa states, standing up, then hissing in pain.

“Woah, okay, calm down there,” Lincoln orders, “You’re still recovering.”

“I know,” Lexa sighs, standing up slower, “But look, this isn’t right.”

“I’ll call Indra, okay? You can explain it to her. You know I don’t do numbers.”

Lexa nods, looking down at the paper again, “This is just crazy Linc. She must think we’re doing terrible things over here.”

“I mean, she has said she doesn’t understand why we aren’t making more, but Chris just said some stuff and yeah,” he shrugs, scratching the back of his neck.

“I always wondered where else he worked to afford his clothes,” Lexa mumbles, clenching her jaw as she looks at the paperwork again.

* * *

“I always was a bit confused as to why this place didn’t make more,” Indra admits, crossing her arms as she stands up.

“It’s surprising you never looked into it. You don’t seem the type to keep a place that isn’t doing well around,” Lexa admits as she takes off her glasses.

“I’m not, but Lincoln is someone I’m willing to spend some money on. He’s a good kid. A great person to have around, especially in this neighborhood.” Indra explains, sighing as she continues, “I’m afraid that Chris has worked his last days for me.”

“I didn’t like him anyway,” Lexa admits, earning a slight twitch of Indra’s lips, the smallest hint of a smile. 

“I had a question I’d been meaning to ask you, Lexa,” Indra states, leaning against the desk and crossing her arms.

“Uh oh,” Lexa mumbles, sitting taller in her chair as she meets brown eyes.

“Have you ever thought about going back into law?”

Lexa’s brows raise in surprise, not expecting such a question. Then furrow, confused as to why Indra would ask a question. 

“I’m working with someone inside Woods Inc, attempting to gather evidence against your father. They mentioned that you were one of the best at finding the legal loopholes, and did a majority of the work Woods claimed for himself.”

“I-uh… I wasn’t ever trained, like, in school. So it was illegal.”

“Well of course if you came and worked for me, I’d put you through school. That wouldn’t be a problem,” Indra dismisses with a wave of her hand, “I just want to know if you enjoyed it. I wouldn’t want you to do something you don’t enjoy. I know this gym is nice and fun, Lincoln does a good job here, but I see you as so much more than a fitness trainer. My insider does too.”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Lexa admits, biting her bottom lip.

“I know it’s a lot. I happened to write this up, in case you didn’t want to answer now. I’ll leave it with you. Let me know what you decide, no rush. I’ve got to go find Chris.”

Lexa nods, taking the paper Indra hands her, watching as she exits the room before looking at the paper in her hand. 

It’s a job offer, which isn’t surprising. What is surprising is the salary amount, well, the fact it is a salary to start with is surprising. Lexa grabs her glasses, sliding them on as she goes through the paper.

* * *

“What’s up, baby? Work okay?” Clarke questions from the couch as Lexa enters their small apartment.

“I’ve got some news,” Lexa admits, rushing towards the blonde, handing her the paper.

“What’s this?” Clarke questions, brows furrowed as she looks down at the paper.

“Indra offered me a job working for her.”

“Indra? Owner of the gym, CEO of Trikru, Indra?”

“Yes,” Lexa nods excitedly, taking the paper from Clarke and pointing at a passage, “And she’s going to send me to school so I can be her assistant. And pay me like, three times what I’m making now.”

Clarke’s brows rise as she reads the salary number, “Holy shit, Lexa!”

“I guess someone who works for my dad still was raving about me, and like, I also found out Chris was stealing some from the gym and an error on the taxes and Indra wants me and-”

Clarke’s lips slamming into hers stops her rambling. Lexa's smile grows so big it breaks their kiss, Clarke pulling away to look into green eyes, the smile reflected. 

“I love you, nerd,” Clarke grins, stroking the side of Lexa’s face. 

“Love me enough to rub my back?” Lexa questions with a hopeful tilt of her eyebrow.

Clarke chuckles, rolling her eyes as she kisses Lexa again.

“Go shower first, then I’ll give you a massage.”

Lexa grins, “A naked massage?” she wiggles her eyebrows, earning a laugh from the blonde.

“Anything you want,” she agrees, “Don’t wash your hair though, I’ll help you tomorrow, okay?” 

“Or… You could help me now?” Lexa tries.

“I wanna finish this sketch first,” Clarke admits, gesturing towards the notebook on the coffee table.

Lexa sighs, pouting, “Okay.”

Clarke laughs, giving her one last kiss before sending her off to the bathroom with a tap of the butt.

* * *

“Oh, ho, ho,” Clarke grins, blue eyes taking in Lexa, fresh from the shower, her towel wrapped around her hair.

Lexa blushes, rolling her eyes as she heads to her dresser, “Stop ogling me.”

“You married me, giving me permission to ogle any time I want,” Clarke defends, eyes taking in Lexa’s back, enjoying the way the muscles ripple as she carefully takes the towel off. 

She watches as a drop of water slowly makes it way down Lexa’s spine, trailing down the trunk of the tattooed tree. Then Clarke’s taking in the swell of Lexa’s behind, clenching her jaw in want as Lexa steps into a pair of panties. 

Lexa turns around, not bothering to cover her top half, feeling good enough with just a pair of silky pink panties to face her wife. She smirks as she watches blue eyes slowly trail up her body, stopping on her breasts for a few seconds before continuing up to meet her eyes. 

“Fuck baby, come here,” Clarke reaches out, making grabbing motions at Lexa, earning another eye roll as Lexa compiles. 

“You’re so fucking hot, baby girl,” Clarke mumbles, handles settling on Lexa’s hips, pulling her into the space between her legs, looking up at Lexa.

Lexa grins, pushing a strand of blonde hair out of Clarke’s face, pushing it behind her ear. Green eyes take her in, soaking in her smooth pale skin, the small moles that litter her face. One about her eyebrow, a smaller and paler one next to her other eyebrow, one on her cheek, one just under her nostril. While all of those ones are beautiful, she leans in to kiss her absolute favorite one, right above her lip, darker than the rest. 

Clarke, however, ruins her plan, tilting her head up and connecting their lips. It’s soft, their lips caressing each other as Clarke’s hands travel lower, settling firmly on the swell of Lexa’s behind. Lexa grins into the kiss, causing their lips to break apart before Clarke leans away, smiling softly herself.

“I love you,” Lexa whispers, her thumb sliding across her second favorite of Clarke’s moles, the one right above her eyebrow.

“I love you,” Clarke answers as she gives one of Lexa’s cheeks a firm squeeze, chuckling when Lexa jumps, before pulling away, “Alright, lay down. I’ll get your oil and give you a massage.”

Lexa smiles to herself, happily settling into bed, pillows used to not put extra pressure on her breasts, as Clarke rummages through her nightstand. 

“Use the lavender,” Lexa orders, crossing her arms, using them as a pillow for her head as she closes her eyes.

“I am, you flower queen,” Clarke jokes, moving back onto the bed. 

Lexa jumps in surprise as Clarke squirts the oil onto her back, the cold surprising her. 

“Clarke,” she scolds lightly, smiling at the dark chuckle Clarke lets out. 

“Oh!” Lexa gasps in surprise as Clarke stadles her hips, which isn’t the surprising part, the fact she’s naked is. 

“Didn’t think I’d let you be the only tease, did you?” Clarke questions with a deep chuckle, settling her hips on the swell of Lexa’s ass as she leans forward, her hands rubbing the oil into Lexa’s skin. 

“Fuck Clarke, your hands are magical,” Lexa moans, raising her hips as she moves slightly to the left, attempting to guide Clarke’s hands.

“Hmm,” Clarke moans, her exposed bottom half rubbing against Lexa’s panties, surprising her.

“Does that feel good?” Lexa questions from below her, feeling Clarke’s hands stopping.

“Mhm,” Clarke hums, “Sorry,” she mumbles, moving her hips away from Lexa as she starts massaging Lexa’s lower back.

“Oh fuck,” Lexa moans as Clarke works on a knot, earning a chuckle.

“God Lexa, your ass,” Clarke groans, hands sliding lower, massaging the round cheeks.

“You like?” Lexa questions, tilting her head to glance back at the blonde.

“I wanna ride it,” Clarke admits, watching the skin jiggle under pink silk panties. 

“Then do it.”

Blue eyes shoot to green, wide in surprise. Lexa only chuckles, reaching down and pulling her panties down slightly, just exposing her butt, keeping her other part hidden.

“Are you sure baby? You don’t-”

“Massage it,” Lexa orders, bringing her knees together and pressing her ass up towards the blonde. 

“Fuck,” Clarke groans, grabbing the oil and rubbing her cheeks.

“Just don’t, like, touch me there. I’m not-”

“I know baby,” Clarke soothes, stroking her skin.

Lexa smiles to herself, losing herself in the soft touch. Until Clarke shifts, moving to bring herself level with Lexa. Clarke hums, positioning herself, then rubbing against the side of Lexa’s cheek.

“Oh fuck,” Clarke groans, easily falling into a rhythm, dragging herself across Lexa.

Lexa hums herself, unsurprisingly enjoying the warmth dragging across her butt, knowing it feels good for Clarke is more than enough for her.

“Fuck, baby,” Clarke moans, her hips speeding up slightly.

Lexa groans, suddenly realizing that this feels good for her too. Her center rubbing against the bed with every thrust of Clarke’s hips. For the first time, it doesn’t feel wrong. 

A hand in the middle of her back brings her back to the moment, Clarke leaning forward, grabbing her hand, slipping her fingers between Lexa’s, putting her weight on it. Lexa groans, moving her hips too, enjoying the feeling of Clarke sliding over the growing wetness on her ass.

“Lexa, baby. I’m going to cum,” Clarke admits, her thrusts speeding up.

Lexa moans, reaching behind her with her free hand, grabbing Clarke’s hip, urging her on. Clarke leans back, one hand going onto Lexa’s thigh to support herself as she changes the angle. Her thrust growing longer, the drag against Lexa’s skin longer, feeling even better on her clit. 

“Faster baby,” Lexa groans, enjoying the feeling she’s experiencing, her nails digging into the side of Clarke’s leg.

Clarke moans in response, her hips moving faster as she leans forward, both hands settling on Lexa’s upper back as she speeds up. 

“Cum for me baby,” Lexa mumbles, her hips moving too. 

Clarke’s moans take a higher pitch as she leans back again, a hand coming up to tug at one of her nipples. 

Lexa cums first, with a quiet grunt. It’s different than any other orgasm she’s ever had. Instead of a single few moments of pleasure focused on her parts, it’s different. Coming from her center, but radiating through her entire body as she goes stiff. 

Lexa’s hips stutter against Clarke’s center, throwing her own the edge. She comes with a high pitched moan, her body freezing for a second. Then collapsing on top of Lexa’s back, her center rippling a few times before she regains energy to think. 

Clarke pushes up slightly, gathering Lexa’s hair and pulling it to one side before pressing kisses along her jawline.

“That was wonderful. Thank you,” Clarke whispers into her ear, softly biting at the lobe.

“I came too,” Lexa admits, her hand leaving the bed and tangling with Clarke’s.

“You did, huh?” Clarke questions, smirking as she rolls to Lexa’s side, Lexa rolling her eyes, blush coating her cheeks. 

“You like being used?” Clarke questions, smirk firmly in place as she watches Lexa’s reaction.

Lexa’s eyes slam shut at the question, dirty images flashing across her mind. Clarke in a corset, rubbing against her. Clarke standing above her, using her mouth as Lexa’s hands are tied behind her back. 

“Someone’s a bit kinky,” Clarke jokes with a small chuckle, a light hand running down Lexa’s arm bringing her back.

“Says the one who just rubbed out against my ass,” Lexa rolls her eyes.

Clarke laughs, leaning in and capturing Lexa’s lips. 

Lexa can’t help but smile again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very inspired by JFG's video titled 'Gorgeous girls in lingerie have amazing sex & intense tribbing until orgasm' which you can find on PornHub! (If found anywhere else, it's stolen. Don't support stolen content, or sites okay with stolen content).  
> Also, I'm horny now, lmao. Let me know if you are too, lol. I'm kinda a horndog! (I'm blaming the T)!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Slight Dysphoria & Smut (muffing).

The sound of an alarm rings through the apartment. The brunette is the first to move, turning on her side and slapping the clock. She returns to her spot with ease, burying her face into the wild blonde hair, taking a deep breath, enjoying the slight vanilla scent as her eyes drift shut again.

“Mmm,” Clarke groans in her sleep, her bottom half moving backward, brushing across Lexa’s front.

“Clarke,” she whispers, moving her bottom half away from the blonde, looking down at her excitement.

“Mmm,” Clarke moans in her sleep, her body moving backward, searching for the sudden loss of heat.

Lexa closes her eyes, focusing on her breathing, attempting to ignore the throbbing in her lower half while trying to stop the uneasy feeling in her gut. She hasn’t had this problem in months, the estrogen helping a lot with it.

“Clarke, it’s time to get up,” Lexa states, soft as she can manage while grabbing Clarke’s hips, preventing her from moving.

“Mmm, Leksa,” Clarke groans, stretching as she wakes up.

The hand on her hip tightens, causing her to freeze, “Lex?” she questions softly, craning her head to look at the brunette.

"I," Lexa swallows, eyes closed, "I just need a minute."

"I'm so-"

"It's okay, just give me a minute," Lexa cuts off her apology, shaking her head as she lets go of Clarke’s hip.

Clarke rolls over, glancing over Lexa's shoulder and at the clock, then back at Lexa. Her eyes are closed, breathing slow and deliberate.

"Baby, baby, hey, baby," Clarke whispers, taking Lexa's face in her hands, pressing their foreheads together.

"I'm okay, I just needed a moment," Lexa states, leaning into the touch regardless.

Clarke nods, closing her eyes and enjoying the closeness.

"You know..." Clarke hums, waiting until green eyes meet hers to continue, “If you aren’t feeling terrible, maybe we could do something good to get rid of it. If you want.”

Green eyes widen, "I-”

“Only if you want to. If you don’t want to, that’s okay. Just a suggestion,” Clarke is quick to clarify. 

Lexa shakes her head, eyes closing, “I don’t think so.”

Clarke nods in understanding, gently caressing Lexa’s cheek. 

“I love you,” Clarke whispers, looking into green eyes.

“I love you,” Lexa whispers back, leaning in close and connecting their lips softly. 

Clarke sighs happily into the kiss, pulling back and glancing at the time again, letting out another sigh. 

“Is it time?” Lexa guesses with a small smirk, earning a playful eye roll.

“Let’s cancel.”

“We can’t cancel our best friend’s wedding,” Lexa chuckles, rolling to her back to get up.

“We went to Raven and Anya’s. One out of two is good enough, right?” 

Lexa shakes her head as she gets up, ignoring the blonde with a grin on her face.

* * *

“Lex?” Lincoln questions over his shoulder, eyes glancing around the small dressing room.

Lexa chuckles, standing up from the chair and coming over to Lincoln.

“You should really learn how to do this yourself,” Lexa jokes quietly, reaching out and tying his tie.

“That’s what I keep you around for,” He jokes with a nervous smile.

“Well I hope I offer more, as I’m pretty sure O knows how to tie a tie,” she jokes.

He sighs happily, a small smirk as he thinks of his wife to be. Lexa shakes her head in amusement, softly punching his shoulder.

“Awh, who knows. Maybe I could keep you around for some other reason too.”

“Yeah, keep your ass out of legal trouble.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. He looks around the room again, taking in the few other friends of his, milling around and waiting for the wedding. 

“You know you could’ve worn a dress, right?” Lincoln says, looking down at her suit, matching the men in the room.

“I know. I look good in a suit though,” Lexa jokes, earning a small chuckle from the groom.

“It’s your day anyways, don’t need me looking better than you do.”

Lincoln shakes his head, but his small grin gives away his true thoughts. 

A knock interrupts their conversation. With a shared look, they head out the small room, and towards the rest of his life.

* * *

Lexa holds her breath, her face a stone of indifference to those around her, opposite to the internal struggle inside her. 

“I find the defendant guilty on all counts…”

Lexa can’t stop her grin, pure joy filling her chest at knowing she won her first case. A glance to her mentor, Indra, and she’s quick to fall back into the face of indifference. The small nod she gets moments later from the stoic woman almost breaks it.

* * *

“It was so amazing,” Lexa says as they head into their apartment, “I didn’t expect-”

Her next words are cut off my Clarke’s lips against hers as she’s pushed into the wall. 

“God, you’re so fucking hot,” Clarke groans, lips trailing down Lexa’s necks. 

“I-”

“In this sexy pantsuit. I want to hear you moan my name,” Clarke whispers in her ear.

“Fuck,” Lexa whispers, head tilting back, allowing Clarke better access to her neck.

Clarke grins into Lexa’s neck, pushing her body fully against Lexa’s.

“Wait-”

Lexa can’t help her pout as Clarke immediately pulls away, concerned blue eyes meet glazed green. 

“I’m sorry,” Clarke whispers.

“No, I just. I really want to do this,” Lexa explains, blush coating her cheeks. 

“You do?” 

Lexa nods, “I think I’m ready.”

“You think?” 

“I’m ready to at least try. I might have to stop, but I want to try,” Lexa explains, biting her bottom lip.

Clarke nods, “Okay, let’s go to the bedroom.”

Lexa giggles at their awkwardness as they join hands, heading to their bedroom. Clarke chuckles too, grinning at her wife.

“So… Take it off,” Clarke commands with a small giggle as she pushes Lexa back onto the bed.

Lexa laughs as Clarke tugs at the bottom of her pants as she focuses on unbuttoning her shirt. Clarke’s yanking pulls Lexa’s panties off at the same time she finally unbuttons her shirt.

“I love you,” Clarke grins, climbing onto the bed and laying next to Lexa as Lexa takes off her shirt and bra. 

Clarke looks at her womanhood, the back into green eyes, “so are you, uh…” Clarke struggles to find a word.

“I am aroused, yes,” Lexa answers, pink taking over her cheeks.

“Good,” Clarke grins, leaning in and giving her a kiss, “show me what you like baby.”

“Well, okay,” Lexa mumbles, looking down at herself.

“I ignore this, it makes me feel uneasy, and I just don’t like it,” Lexa explains, “I know it doesn’t make me a man, but a lot of people still feel that way and it’s hard for me to enjoy anything like that with them in the back of me head.”

“I understand baby,” Clarke mumbles, pressing a kiss to Lexa’s neck.

“A lot of people don’t know this, but I kinda have a vagina now. Where my testes sometimes go into my body? There’s a little space there that,” Lexa moans, her fingers disappearing inside herself. 

“Wow. So you have two? Or one big one?” Clarke questions, moving down the bed to really watch Lexa.

“I have two, but my right one is a bit bigger,” Lexa states, sitting up to watch herself too.

They sit in almost silence for a few minutes, Clarke watching intently as Lexa works herself up, small gasps escaping every now and then.

“Can I?” Clarke asks after Lexa lets out a loud moan. 

“Yeah, please,” Lexa nods, removing her hand. 

“So it’s here?” Clarke questions, her finger where Lexa’s just were. 

“Yeah, just push into me.”

Clarke pushes, causing the loose skin to stretch inwards.

“Like that?”

“Fuck,” Lexa moans as Clarke slides her finger into her.

“Just like you do with me?” Clarke questions, pulling her finger and pushing it back in.

“Yeah, just slower. I’m not wet like you are,” Lexa groans, her eyes rolling back as Clarke pushes back in.

“Maybe I can fix that?” Clarke mumbles, removing her finger from Lexa and putting it inside herself.

“Jesus,” Lexa groans at the sight.

“You can just call me Clarke, baby,” she chuckles, removing the finger from herself and entering Lexa again.

“Clarke,” Lexa moans.

“You like it, don’t you?” Clarke rasps, slowly gaining speed.

Lexa groans, her hips moving on their own.

Clarke grins, enjoying the sounds of pleasure spilling from her lover. Sounds she hasn’t heard before. They’re quiet, making them that much more precious. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Clarke groans.

Lexa doesn’t answer, instead reaching down and sliding her hand into Clarke’s pants too, earning a surprised moan. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Hi.   
> Sorry for the wait. COVID means instead of shutting down factories, we are working as much time as they can legally force us to (: I'm super tired and when I'm not, I'm not in the mood to write much. Anyways, enough about me, on to the fic and shit.  
> There is art mentioned in this chapter is by Monika, aka @moishpain on Twitter/Instagram/Deviantart and sheep-in-clouds on Tumblr.  
> I HIGHLY recommend checking out her artwork. Just google "Moishpain Lexa" and look at her incredible work.

Lexa sighs as she leans against the door, shutting it with the weight of her body as her eyes close. After a moment, she pulls herself together, sliding off her suit jacket and slipping off her shoes, glancing around at the seemingly empty apartment. 

She pulls out her phone, looking for a text from Clarke, only to find nothing except her home screen. She grins at the photo, a picture of Clarke grinning with her pressing a kiss to her cheek. Pulling herself out of the memory of Clarke’s laugh, she hears the faint sound of music and solves the mystery of where her lover is hiding. 

She slips down the hallway to their spare bedroom without bothering to flip the lights on, knowing they need to be extra mindful about the bills this month. Her lips tilt into a smile as she hears the sound of the blonde singing along to the song, slightly off-tune. Ever so slowly, as to not disturb Clarke, she pushes open the door. 

Clarke hums, unaware of the brunette in the doorway, focusing on the painting before her. Looking down at the colors near her, she adds a bit more brown to make the color darker before mixing it for a moment to add more shadows, causing the figure's jawline to stand out even more. 

“Oh my god. Clarke, that looks amazing,” Lexa mumbles, eyes wide as she looks at the painting. 

It’s clearly the brunette but transformed from her normal self. Her long brown locks aren’t in their normal ponytail, instead pulled back, looking to be braided. It looks as if she’s wearing warpaint, by the black that trails down her cheekbones. Warpaint is further supported by the hilt of a sword in her hand and how her green-gold eyes look off in the distance as if waiting for an enemy to attack. 

Clarke squeaks in surprise, whoring around to look at Lexa, eyes wide in surprise as she stammers, “I uh, it’s not done yet. I uh-”

“It’s beautiful Clarke,” Lexa shakes her head, knowing Clarke will brush off her compliments, “You should post this somewhere when you are done, it’s amazing.”

Clarke feels her cheeks heat up at the praise, stepping back so Lexa can get a better look at the painting as she collects her thoughts. 

“I want to finish the series first,” Clarke admits softly, biting the bottom of her lip.

“The series?” Lexa questions, turning to look at her girlfriend. 

Clarke bites her bottom lip, looking down. 

“You don’t have to show me if you don’t want to baby. I’m sorry for barging in her to start with,” Lexa apologies, gently cupping the side of Clarke’s face.

She shakes her head, “I’m not mad, I’m just… Slightly embarrassed. It’s a lot of paintings of you, borderline creepy.”

“If I look this good in all of them, I’ll forgive you for being a creeper,” Lexa teases, grinning at the small snort she earns. 

“A little full of yourself, huh?” Clarke rolls her eyes, but her grin gives away her true feelings. 

“All your fault,” Lexa defends, “Telling me I’m beautiful all the time.”

Clarke laughs, playfully pushing Lexa away, “Does that mean you’re an ass too?” she questions as she heads to the other side of the room where her finished paintings are. 

“I have an ass, yes,” Lexa clarifies with a grin, following her lover. 

“Hell yeah you do,” she winks with another laugh, pulling a canvas out.

“Holy shit Clarke,” Lexa forgets the jokes as she takes in the new painting.

It’s of Lexa, again. This time you can see her braids, an intricate design that would take hours of patience in real life. Black war paint drips down her cheeks from her eyes, her eyes a bright green with just a hint of gold. In her hands is a knife, seemingly being twirled in her hands instead of being used. Between her eyebrows sits a medallion, giving her a more regal aura in the painting.

Clarke pulls out another one, sitting it beside the other one, “This was my first one. Just getting the idea out,” she explains. 

It’s a closer look at Lexa’s side, warpaint dripping down like the others, the medallion between her eyes. There looks to a shoulder strap holding a red fabric flowing out of view. Trees and tall buildings litter the background, gold streaks in an artistic fashion add to the otherworldly feel. 

“These are amazing Clarke. How did you even think of doing this?” Lexa questions, looking closer at the paintings.

“Well… I had a dream, and I just, came up with this idea...” she shrugs.

“What’s the idea?” Lexa questions, knowing there’s more by Clarke’s voice.

“I mean, I used to imagine you as like, a queen or something, but that doesn’t fit you.”

“It doesn’t? I mean, I was like, rich,” Lexa jokes, earning an eye roll.

“No, you’re a warrior. You’ve fought your battles for years, Lexa. In this world, you’re a commander. You fought so well you lead your people against like, monsters and shit.”

“You mean other people?” 

Clarke snorts, shaking her head.

“Come on, let’s go to bed though. I wanna hear all about this world.”

“I need a shower first,” Clarke says, looking down at the different colors of smudges on her arm.

“I’ll whip up something to eat while you shower?” Lexa suggests.

“You’re not going to join me?” 

Lexa chuckles at Clarke’s eyebrow movements, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. 

“You just want me to wash your hair.”

“Maybe.”

Lexa grins, shaking her head as she follows Clarke to the bathroom.

* * *

“So what then?” Lexa questions, looking up at Clarke.

“I don’t know. I haven’t thought of how they’re going to get into the mountain,” Clarke confesses, running her fingers through Lexa’s hair, Lexa’s head on her lap.

“What if you were in it? I bet you could come up with an idea,” Lexa suggests. 

“I wouldn’t have anything to do with that in this type of world. I’d be like, a homemaker or some shit. No way I’d be a warrior or high enough to even know you at this age. Maybe after Mom dies or something I’d take her spot.”

“I dunno. Maybe you’re like, inside the mountain and figure out your people are evil and help me?” 

Clarke shrugs, “I don’t think so. But that’s a good idea to bring it down, get someone on the inside.”

“I mean, you said the world ended a long time ago, right?”

“Yeah, that’s why you had to fight and stuff. You’ve got like, clans that follow you. You united them against the people in the mountain as I said.”

“So like, some people went into bunkers, right? So people knew it was coming.”

“Yeah? Where are you going with this?”

“What if some people like, went to space or something? Like, you could literally fall from the sky.” 

“Ooo. I like that. Hmm… Why would they send me down though? I’d be the same age as you, and I know I wouldn’t just fall from the sky alone.”

“Maybe they like, sent you down as punishment or something? I mean, oxygen has to be limited. Maybe when you fuck up, they send you down to Earth.”

“Are we really creating a whole world just for some paintings where you look hot as fuck?” Clarke questions.

Lexa shrugs, “Why not.”

“It’s pointless, not like anybody is going to care besides us anyway. There’s like, two likes on it.”

“Who cares, we’ll know.” Lexa shrugs, “We’re the only ones who matter anyway. Us against the world, right?”

Clarke grins, leaning down to press a kiss to Lexa’s forehead, “I love you.”

Lexa catches the back of Clarke’s head, bringing her back down for a real kiss, returning the words without speaking them.

* * *

“Lexa.”

“Indra?” Lexa’s brows scrunch in confusion, looking up from her paperwork.

“Lexa, this is Jon Ti. He’s interested in your wife.”

Her brows furrow further, “My wife?”

“Her artwork,” Jon is quick to clarify.

“I-What?”

“I’m interested in displaying her collection in my art gallery. My daughter showed me one of her paintings and I recognized you from the office meeting. I know she probably has many offers with her talent, but I’m willing to fight for her. Here’s my card, please get in touch. I have a gallery in about a month if she’s willing.”

“I will, uh, let her know,” Lexa says, dumbfounded as she takes the card and a handshake.

* * *

“I can’t believe this is real,” Clarke confesses later that night, grinning ear to ear as she looks down at her phone, notifications still flowing in. 

“You’ve got enough work, I can be the trophy wife now,” Lexa jokes as she unwraps her hair, headed over to her sock drawer.

“What are you doing? It’s nude night,” Clarke whines, pouting as Lexa continues to rummage through the drawer. 

“I know it is,” Lexa states, voice shaking slightly, just like her hands.

“What’s wrong?” Clarke jumps out of bed, noticing the shake immediately. 

As she’s almost in reach, she’s shocked as Lexa drops to the floor, gracefully spinning and landing on one knee. Clarke can feel her jaw hanging open as she looks at Lexa, but can’t close it. 

“I know this is silly, and we’re already married, but I want to marry you. Marry you as me, as Lexa. I want to be surrounded by our friends and show our love to everybody. I want to see you walk down an aisle towards me and promise the rest of our lives again. Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, would you marry me, again?”

Clarke can’t answer, tears choking her as she nods, falling to her knees and connecting their lips. 

“I fucking love you so much,” Clarke sobs into her shoulder.

“Enough to add yourself to the paintings? I don’t want to be without you in any world, even fictional.”

Clarke laughs at the absurdity of the topic, after a proposal, talking about an imaginary world. 

“I’d probably make you crazy, end up killing us all,” she jokes, looking into green eyes.

“Life is about more than just surviving, isn’t it?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, check out Moishpain's artwork to get a visual of how amazing these 'paintings' (I don't believe they are made with paint in real life, but they are in this fic) are!   
> I HIGHLY recommend checking out her artwork. Just google "Moishpain Lexa" and look at her incredible work.


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